Just Another Day
by Baxxie
Summary: Things have hanged in the Taylor household. People are acting different, secrets are being kept, someone has gone missing. What happened and why? Read and review to find out! Watch out for violence in some chapters..
1. Prologue

Prologue

Once upon a time there was a prince and princess. They had a great life until one day a bad witch came and destroyed it. They were not happy, but then a fairy came and saved them, she made everything right again. And the lived happily ever after. The End.

Yeah right, what a bunch of crap. This whole day I wished for the sun to come out. But I guess the fairies don't work in the winter.

So, just a normal winters day for me yet again. But still, all of my days are always full of joy…

Well, most of them anyway…

Okay, some of them….

Okay, I'm miserable all the time. You happy now? Oh, God, I'm talking to a piece of paper. This feels so stupid…. Why am I writing this journal, or whatever I'm supposed to call it, anyway? This is all the fault of my stupid therapist. It's supposed to help me think. Yeah, really helpful, as if I wasn't going crazy already, now I'm talking to myself… Okay, maybe I can't stop myself from going crazy, I mean, It is in the family, after all. Nah, just kidding.

Okay, okay, enough with the babbling. I'm supposed to dedicate this to a person. Not that anybody would read it, but let's just humour my shrink, shall we?

Well, if I'm going to dedicate this to someone, I should probably introduce myself, before you think I'm crazy, too. My name is Randy Taylor and I'm 19 years old. Right now I'm living home again, not quite ready to start college yet, I barely finished High School. But anyway, yes, my last name is Taylor. I am Tim Taylor's son, the tv-star. You know, Tool Time, you watch it? No, me neither. Well, only if I really can't sleep, helps every time, I can recommend it. If you want to watch because you want to know how to actually fix something in or around your house, I recommend you watch Bob Vial, I'm sure he's never glued his head to a table before.

But, hey, this was about me. So, my mom lives here, too, of course, she's a psychiatrist. She's good at what she does, she sometimes just doesn't understand that she can't help me with my problems anymore, she would get emotionally involved. Not good, of course. Not that it doesn't stop her.. or her cooking.

I have two brothers also. My older brother Brad is 20 and was the popular jock in High School, he was always popular, before.. oops getting ahead of myself there, sorry… and next to that is my younger brother Mark, just 17. He's always been the one my parents worried about, you know, the one who would get on the bad side of the road. He did, I guess for a little while. But while they worried about him, a lot of other things happened. He came around, turned back to normal, well, normal for him. He's still weird. But he's family.

And me? Well, I've got a semi-normal family, a normal life, I was going to school, I had the right friends, everything was going great. Now, everything's messed up and I'm, like I said, miserable. I can't sleep, I can hardly eat and my head is pounding so much I feel it's going to burst any second now. It's just that I keep thinking about all the stuff that happened in the last couple of years. My emotions are especially running wild. I don't know what I feel, or rather: I don't know what I DON'T feel. Just think of an emotion, I swear, somewhere in the mess inside of me, I'll find it.

It's scary. Everything seems to be getting worse every second, even though I didn't think that was possible. It's like my life is spinning out of control fast and I can't stop it.

All I can do is keep wondering how all of this happened, when did it get this bad? You know the feeling like you're dreaming and the world just keeps going, but in slow motion? T feels like that all of the time right now. Only I'm wide awake and things are getting worse…

Everything's so screwed up. I don't get it. What the hell happened? I'd just like to float out of my body to be able to look at everything I did, but I don't think I would believe it. When I think back at all of it, I can't help wondering: Is this really who I've become?

My whole life has changed. I think I've lost everything but my family, even though I know most of them have turned against me as well. Who can blame them? I mean, sometimes I've turned against me. What am I saying, I have.

The scary thin is: I don't know how to fix this. I can't undo the things I've done. I can't take back the things I said. I can only hope I have enough time left to make it better. I'm running out fast, I know, but I have to try. My life is depending on it….


	2. Chapter 1 Haunted

Chapter 1 Haunted

_Three weeks earlier..._

Mark:_  
_

It's 2 am and I'm wide awake again. I try to close my eyes, but everytime I do, the mumbling seems te get louder. I turn towards the responsible figure to see him tossing and turning. I want to get mad, but like every other night, It won't help. And besides, I like my life somewhat.

Anyway, as this occurs every night I'm kinda curious to know what's haunting him. If I know, maybe I can help him and maybe It will explain the changes from my sweet and innocent brother Randy to the devil. So, I slowly get out of bed and get closer to him. As I sit on his bed, I try to listen carefully, maybe I'll understand the words he's muttering...

Randy:**  
**

**_'No, please...please be ok...' I plead with her as I move closer to her body lying still on the ground. She just has to be alive..._**

**_But as I'm close enough to make out her face in the darkness, my heart sinks. I slid to my knees and close her eyes as I can't stand those beautiful blue orbs star glazed over, staring into nothing. I pull her body close as tears start to spill. I try to talk to her, hoping for a miracle, but as her lips have turned blue and dark purple bruises already forming on her neck, I know I can't help her any longer._**

**_'Oh god... I'm so sorry... I am so sorry...' as I keep apologizing, hugging her body close to me, I hardly notice someone trying to take her out of my arms. I suddenly wake up a little as I hear my name being called. I silently hope It's her, but as I look at her face, I know she didn't. I start to sob again and look up at the voice to see who it belongs to._**

**_'Randy? Randy, come on, let go of her.' I don't want to and hug her even closer. A hand forcefully makes me look up._**

**_'I said, let go of her Randy! We have to take care of this or do you want the police to find you like this?' I realize in all my pain that he's right. I reluctantly let them take her out of my arms, while still sobbing and quietly I tell her goodbye as I give her one last kiss._**

**_'Goodbye Lauren, I'll never forget you...' I watch sadly as they take her body away._**

**_'Oh my god... Oh my god, Randy, please tell me you didn't...' Wait a minute, that's not supposed to happen... I remember this day, but that voice doesn't belong here.. I look around me in confusion and then I slowly wake up..._**

I start to sit up as I'm aware of someone sitting on the edge of my bed. Panic starts building as I turn on the lamp beside my bed and as my eyes focus… I breath a sigh of relief when I see It's my younger brother Mark.

'God, Mark, don't scare me like that. You almost gave a heart attack. What are you doing on my bed?'

He doesn't respond and as I take a good look at his face I get confused.

'What? Is there something on my face?' I joke, but he still doesn't respond. He keeps staring at me, confused and clearly upset. Then his lips move, but the words are so quiet I can barely hear them.

'What did you say? Speak up Mark, I couldn't hear you.'

'I said: what did you do?' He told me in a quiet voice as his eyes were tearing up.

'What are you talking about?'

'You were talking in your sleep… What did you do to Lauren?'

'What?' My voice only a whisper as my body froze. What did he hear? How much had I told him without knowing? I started to panic, but I had to shake it off. I had to do something, this couldn't get out…

I let my eyes darken, as Mark's eyes became big. He knows he made a mistake. As quickly as he moves from my bed, so do I. My hands turn into fists as I start towards him. He walks backwards and he looks scared. Well, he should be, as I make a split decision….


	3. Chapter 2 Mistakes

Sorry for the delay, I'm reposting this chapter, cause I'm not satisfied. I can tell the story is kind of confusing sometimes, with the way I write. After I repost this one, I'll post the next chapter as soo as possible, but as I'm not geting any reviews for this chapter, I don't know wether or not to continue. Is anyone still reading this story? Then please let me know what you think. Thank you!

Chapter 2 Mistake

Mark:_  
_

I try to get away from him as fast as possible, but It's too late. My body already slams into the wall behind me, hard. My head already hurts from the impact, but I don't have time to think about it as a fist lands squarely on my nose, breaking it on impact. I try to blink away the tears that are already forming as I try to defend myself. The punches are coming so fast I don't even think about al the karate lessons I had for exactly this purpose…

'Randy, stop it! Please, I…' But I can't finish the sentence as he hits me in the jaw.

My body slides to the floor as I'm beginning to see stars. I shield my face as I wait for the next punch…nothing…

I look up and see him leaning in towards to me. Then he grabs a handful of my hair and slams me into the wall a second time.

'Now, you are not going to tell anyone about what you heard are you? Are you?' He asks me, his face contorted with anger as he still holds my hair tightly.

I squirm to get out of his grip as I wince, a couple of hairs already letting go of my scalp…

'But Randy, If you know what happened to Lauren, then we have to tell someone… I mean, you didn't do this did you, you couldn't have.. I know you've changed, but not like that Randy, right?' I plead with him as tears start to drip out of my eyes. He doesn't respond. As I look at his face he seems to be struggling with something. I take this chance to ask him more as he finally lets go of my hair.

I'm still scared, but it seems I've touched a nerve… I prepare myself as I finally realize… Maybe this is it. Maybe tonight he'll finally tell me what happened two years ago, on that fateful night. Maybe this is why he changed so much, he's been keeping this a secret for so long, maybe he'll tell me and he can go back to normal..

Yes, this is it, as he's turned his head away from me, I decide to take my chances:

'You do know what happened don't you? Randy, It's ok, just tell me, I'm sure I'll be able to help you. Who did it Randy? Come on, tell me, we could go to the police together and we can tell them every…'

All of a sudden I can't speak anymore and I'm struggling to breath… I look up again and see my brother's face looking at me and his hands are around my neck. Oh my god, he's trying to kill me. I start to panic as my heart starts beating faster than it already was… I try frantically to pry his hands away form my throat as he leans in until his face is inches away form mine.

'Now, I want you to listen very carefully,' he menacingly whispers. 'we are not going to tell anybody anything, you understand me? I don't know what happened and neither do you. In fact you are going to forget you ever heard me talking in my sleep. And very importantly, you will not tell anyone about tonight. Now, I am going to let go and you will not make a single noise. You hear me?' I weakly nod as he finally releases his death grip on me. I try to be as quiet as possible, but as soon as he lets go I start coughing. Thankfully he doesn't react to that. As I lay there, catching my breath, I notice he's gotten up. I start to worry and shield my face until I felt something land on my legs. I look down and see a towel.

'Clean yourself up, wouldn't want anyone to see those bruises, do you? They might start to think you got hurt.' Wow, you really care about me don't you? 'Come on, get up and go to sleep. You've got school tomorrow.'

I can't believe he expects me to go to sleep now, after… I'm still shaking as I try not to think about what just happened. I mean, my brother tried to kill me! I can't believe he almost… that I almost… No, I have to stop myself right there. Nothing happened… I just need to go to sleep and everything will be ok… Yeah right, who am I kidding. I wince as I touch my nose with the towel. I lean against the wall for support as I slowly and painfully push myself up to a standing position.

I walk towards a mirror hanging on the wall next to the sink dad built. I'm surprised to see the faucet actually works.. I wet the towel and look at my reflection. Well, I'll have no problem hiding this from our parents tomorrow, who would notice a black eye, split lip, a swollen red broken nose and red handprints around my throat… I slowly trace the bruises with my hands, I wince again. Yeah, I'm going to sleep just fine as I feel a coughing spree coming on. It hurts like hell!

Go to sleep, yeah, I should, as I use the wet towel to wipe of the blood coming from my nose and my lip. It feels somewhat refreshing, but It's still painful. I slowly walk towards the bed, wincing every time I breath. I'll never be able to sleep, everything hurts too much now.. Then, I feel a blow to my head and my body finally welcomes the darkness it's been longing for for so many nights…

Randy:

'Sorry, Mark, but it's for your own good. Someday you'll understand.' I sadly tell him as I wipe the blood of the baseball bat in our room, I put it back in his closet en then I carefully lift him of the ground and into bed.

'At least you can sleep now. Goodnight…' I climb back into my own bed, where my memories of that night come back…

_**I watch as they take away her body. Tears are still flowing freely down my face and I do nothing to cover them up. I can hear someone talking to me in the distance.**_

_**'Randy, get up. We don't have time for this right now. You need to change into clean clothes and go back to bed before the sounds comes back up, you know that. Now, get up and take of your clothes!' I hear my clean clothes being dropped beside me. He's starting to panic, but the situation hardly registers in my mind.**_

_**'Goddamnit Randy, get up and put on your fucking clothes before I make you!' I slowly get up and take off my clothes, thankfully he turned away from me. He gives me a towel. I look at him expectantly. **_

_**'You have blood all over you, wipe it off.' He says shortly. I slowly wipe off the blood as much as I can and put on the other clothes. I hand him the bloody clothes and the towel as he looks around to see if anyone's coming.**_

_**'Good! Now, go get back to the house and go to bed. Don't let anybody see you and don't talk to anyone. I'll see you in a while. Remember the plan and everything will be fine, you'll see. No one will ever find out what happened tonight. Now, go!'**_

_**In a daze I run as fast as I can back to the house. Thank god everybody's sleeping. I go upstairs and lock my room. Then, I lean my back into the door and slide to the floor, finally breaking down again. I cried until there no more tears left, but I never slept. And I never will...**_


	4. Chapter 3 Awakenings and realizations

Hi everyone! Thanks for all your reviews! I've made some changes to the previous chapters, to make it more readable. Please let me know what you think, bad or good, so I can keep writing! And if you have any ideas to put in this story, let me know!

I've got ideas for other stories too, so I'll put those up soon.

Chapter 3 Awakenings and realizations

Mark:

Oh god, my head…. I slowly open my eyes, but close them fast as the room starts spinning immediately. Oh, everything hurts… and I feel sick. What did I do last night?

I feel a coughing spree coming on. Wow, I've never felt that much pain. I have to lean over the bed for a minute, to prevent myself from choking. When the coughing stops, I lie back down to regain my breath.

I open my eyes again and wait a moment to let my eyes adjust to the light. I slowly try to sit up.. Okay, not a good idea. I quickly lie down again. Maybe I should stay in bed today. Yeah, that will be fine.

My throat is killing me… I put my hand to my throat to massage it, maybe it'll help the pain go away. Wait, it's swollen.. Why is it swollen? Oh, and now it hurts even more… I slowly trace the swelling. As I do that I get an image in my head.

_**Someone's hands are around my throat. I start to choke as I prie his hands away. Then his face comes into view.. Randy?**_

All of a sudden last night's events come flooding back. Oh my god, my own brother tried to kill me… he tried to fucking kill me! I don't believe this.. What am I going to do? I can't face him anymore, what if he tries again? And I can't let anyone know what happened 'cause then he'll kill me anyway.. So I'm screwed!

All because I had to open my big mouth. I could have kept it to myself. Why did I ask him if he hurt Lauren? ofcourse he didn't.. right? Well, he did nearly kill me, maybe he...

No, I need to stop this.. Me arguing with myself isn't going to help me. And it's only making my head hurt worse...

Maybe I should try to go back to sleep. It's not like I'm going to school today... Oh shit, school! How am I going to.. Oh wait, someone's coming down the stairs.. What if it's Randy? I'll pretend to be asleep.. Whoever it is will just go away then, right? Better cover myself with the sheets, can't let them see the bruises..

'Mark?'

'Mark, are you asleep? It's me Randy... Look, you don't have to pretend to be asleep. I know you're awake. I'm not going to hurt you, ok? I've got some aspirine. Want some?'

Ok, I know this is a bad idea, but hey, the guy's got aspirine. So I open my eyes and take of the blanket. His face changes to shock when he sees the bruises on my neck. But the face goes away as quickly as it came and changes back to indifference.

'Here, I got you two and a glass of water.'

I slowly and painfully get up and take the pills and gulp them down, drinking them away with the water. Then I lie back down, as I'm starting to get dizzy. He puts away the glass and sits on my bed.

'Why are you being nice to me all of a sudden?' I ask him. I try to leave out the, why did you try to kill me, part.

'Don't get used to it. I just came down here to give you the aspirin. If anyone else comes down, they might find out something and I want to make sure that doesn't happen.' Ofcourse, only to save himself.

'I told mom and dad you fell down the stairs last night. I said you didn't want to wake anyone up and that you were fine. I convinced them you just needed some sleep and I would look after you. I got them to go to work and it'll keep them out of the basement when they come back. Mom called school and told them you're sick, so you're staying home for now. You got all that?'

'Yeah, I guess.' My voice cracks. Wow, not gonna do that again soon.

'Good. You remember what I said right? I mean it, okay? You tell anyone and I'll make you pay alright?' This time I simply nod.

'Ok. I'm going out for a while. You just stay in the basement and if anyone comes down, just stay under the covers and stick to the story. I'll let you know when it's me.'

With that he got up and went back upstairs. I sigh of relief. What a mess... I really hope this works. I don't want to find out what he would do if anyone fond out.

I shudder at the thought. Let's not think about that.

Then I hear someone coming down the stairs again. Since noone else is here, I figure it's just Randy. He probably forgot something. I turn my head his way and my heart drops. Brad?

I try to cover up, but it's too late... How am I going to explain this?

Randy

As I make my way towards Tony and the guys, I can't help but think about last night. I really hope Mark doesn't mess things up. What if someone finds out? he might say something. maybe I should go back and make sure he knows who he's dealing with.

No, he knows, I already showed him that. He knows not to mess with me. Yeah, it'll be fine.

I hope so...

_**The police keeps questioning me about Lauren. Yeah, I know I saw her last, but I already told them everything I know. Or at least how much I agreed on telling them.**_

_**We agreed on a story I would tell everyone, so noone would get suspicious. **_

_**I told them we were together that night. We went to dinner and then we talked about our relationship. We both agreed it wasn't working anymore, we had grown apart. **_

_**But anyway.. I told them we broke up that night, but we would remain friends. After that I walked her home and I left her on the corner of the street, just one block from her house. Maybe hat wasn't smart, but she insisted on it. She convinced me she would be fine to walk by herself and she didn't need my protection. So, I let her go and I hadn't seen her since.**_

_**Others could verify most of this, we weren't spending that much time together anymore. I just left out the part that I still loved her. **_

_**And we really did have dinner together and I did walk her home, we just never broke up and I did know what happened...**_

_**Tony and the guys verified the story since the restaurant, so I had an alibi. They managed to make it so that my alibi completely checked out. I never asked how they did it. We agreed that we stick to the plan, no questions asked.**_

_**After checking everything about five times, the police had to let me go. I was thankful, but I was sure the guilt was still reading on my face.**_

_**She was missing for four days now and people have started to make their own assumptions. Most of the students, and teachers as well, suspect me. I know that, because they are all avoiding me. And everytime I walk into a room everyone stops talking and look at the ground. The minute I turn my back, they start whispering.**_

_**Tony gets questioned again. When he's done, he walks up to me and makes a signal that he wants to talk.**_

_**'The police told me we get to leave tomorrow. They have all the information they want. But we have to stay available if anything somes up. Her parents will be landing at the airport at the same time we're supposed to go to the airport. Do you think you can handle seeing them?'**_

_**Oh god, Lauren's parents? I hadn't even thought of them. How can I face them? Just one look at her mom crying and I'll spill everyhting, I just know it.**_

_**Tony grabs my shoulders and shakes me out of my thoughts.**_

_**'Hey! Look, you already got through the hard part, now comes the easy part. You'll do fine, I know you will. Just stick to the plan and things will go fine. Alright?' I close my eyes and nod. 'Great, now get some rest, we get up early tomorrow.' He leaves. **_

_**This was the hard part? Uhm no, I think it's the other way around.. Facing the police and lying to them, yeah, it was hard. But facing her parents and lying to them, knowing what I know... Now that will probably be the hardest thing I'll ever have to do. Yeah... I better go pack my bags. Tomorrow is going to be a long day...**_


	5. Chapter 4 Explanations and Fears

Chapter 4 Explanations and fears

Mark:

Not a word has been spoken for what seems like hours. But It's more likely been a few minutes. I start to feel uncomfortable as Brad keeps staring at the bruising around my neck.

'Brad?' I croak. 'Brad, will you please say something? Anything, please, you're making me feel uncomfortable.' Nothing. 'Brad?'

I hear him whisper something. 'What did you say?'

He speaks up louder. 'You fell down the stairs, huh? I can't believe I actually fell for that. I should have known something was up. I mean, why would Randy care about you all of a sudden. He practically begged mom to let him care of you and that you were fine, that you didn't need a doctor. Well, I guess I get it now.'

'Brad..' I start. But he interupts me.

'He did this to you, didn't he?'

'Brad, Randy already told you what happened, I fell down the stairs, end of story.' I turn my head away from him. I want him to leave me alone, but he's got other ideas.

'Oh, quit the bullshit, Mark. You have fucking handprints around your neck! You really expect me to believe you got those from falling down the stairs, too?' I didn't have an answer to that, ofcourse...

'Exactly. Now, answer my question: did Randy do this to you? Did he hurt you?' I sighed.

'No, it wasn't Randy.' Wow, that sounded really convincing Mark. God, I didn't even believe myself with that one, how could Brad?

He sighs and sits on my bed. He rubs his face with his hands. Then he looks at me again.

'I can't believe this. Where else did he hurt you?' I shake my head and start to say something, but he interupts me again. 'Don't deny it alright? I know it was Randy. Just answer my question: where else did he hurt you.' I look down at my hands and carefully lift my shirt. He gasps and looks away.

'Damnit Mark... I'm sorry... But we need to tell mom and dad about this. They are still in denial about him. They are pretending not to see how much he's changed because they can't handle seeing the truth. Maybe if we show them your bruises, it might sink in.'

My eyes go wide at him. 'Tell mom and dad? Are you crazy? No, we are not going to tell them anything. You know what? Let's just forget this ever happened. You didn't see anything.' I catch myself using the same sentence Randy used last night, when he threatened to kill me if I told anyone...

'Excuse me? Forget this ever happened? Forget that Randy tried to kill you?'

'He didn't mean to, he just reacted to what I said.' Oops... Why can't I just shut up...

'What? Something you said? What the hell could you have said to make him want to kill you?' I take a deep breath..

'I may have asked him if he had something to do with Lauren's dissapearance...'

'You what?' he jumped of the bed. 'You know how he reacts if you mention that... What posessed you to say something like that?' He yelled at me.

'Well, I thought he might tell me something. He knows something Brad, I know he does.' He let himself sink to the bed and shook his head.

'I know... Look, we don't know what happened over there. It would be great if he told us, but I really don't think this is going to help.' Again he rubs his face. His hands ball into fists and punches the pillow lying at the end of my bed.

'Fuck! I have so had it with this! We have put up with his bullshit for way too long. I think it's about time we do something about it. Don't worry Mark, I won't tell mom and dad, I'm going to settle this myself. Enough is enough!' With that he angrily gets up and practically runs up the stairs before I have a chance to stop him. There is nothing I can do now, someone is going to get hurt, I just know it.

Defeated, I let my head fall back on my pillow. Shit!

Randy:

I'm on my way to Tony and the gang right now. We meet outside the gates of our old high school almost everyday. We usually torment the kids walking around there, including the ones we know. Or we smoke pot or drink beers, either one or both.

Noone has the guts to tell us to go away, not even the teachers. Most of them still remember us from being students ourselves two years ago. They know not to try and mess with us.

It's weird thinking about my life right now. It used to be so different, before I went to Costa Rica.. before Lauren.. Okay, I should stop myself right there. I just can't stop thinking about her and what happened. I still feel so guilty it tears me up on the inside. But I can't let anyone notice.. I need to think about other stuff... Or not think of anything at all. Yeah, just keep my mind clear... Oh man, how can I, with all the stuff bottled up inside.. If I don't do something about this I might just break down and tell someone everything... Even though it would solve a lot of my problems, I think it would still make my life a living hell... Damnit! Why did this have to happend to me? What did I ever do?

_**On our way to the airport I was doing ok, I was nervous and was still emotional, but I was doing ok. Now, seeing the sign that tells us we're finally here, my heart starts beating like crazy. I'm starting to sweat, I'm so nervous now... I know there is a chance that I won't even see her parents at all, but still, I can't help thinking what will happen if I do. What if they come up to me and ask me what I know? I would feel so guilty I could tell them everything.. That wouldn't be good, it's not part of the plan...**_

_**Okay Randy, just take a deep breath, you'll be fine.. I just need to make sure I don't get anywhere near them... I take a final deep breath as we head inside. No sign of them yet. We take our bags and head over to the departure gate. Our plane will be leaving in two hours, we have to check in in an hour. Okay, I can do this, I'll just read a book to keep myself busy and I won't have to think about it.**_

_**We have decided to go and have a drink before we check in. As we head over to the nearest Starbucks, I can't help but notice the commotion going on in the main hall. The press is all over the place, cameras are flashing everywhere. I guess there must be a celebrity who just arrived here. I can't see who it is, because the photographers and reporters have surrounded whoever is it. Then they break apart, revealing... Lauren's parents?**_

_**Oh my god... I can't move, my limbs are just not working. Tony is pulling on my arm.**_

_**'Come on man, we have to go!' But I can't. I watch them slowly walking towards the exit. Her dad has a blank look on his face and has his arms protectively around her mother, who seems to have trouble walking. She seems to have completely fallen apart, all the way crying and repeating the same phrase over and over: 'My baby, my poor baby... we have to find her, we have to!' I can feel my heart breaking at the sight of it... What have I done? I need to do something... I finally get my legs to work as I start walking towards them. Tony followes me fast and grabs my arm, roughly pulling me towards him.**_

_**'What the hell do you thinking you're doing? You can't go over there, are you stupid or something?' He looks at me with an angry expression.**_

_**'Let go of me!' I yell at him, while tring to pull my arm out of his grasp. Without noticing I'm drawing attention to both of us. The reporters have noticed us. One of them recognises me as Lauren's boyfriend and moves towards me. Others soon follow. I freak out, as does Tony. But I'm not freaked out because of the press swarming us... I'm more freaked out about the fact hat Lauren's parents have now noticed me as well. They're looking at me with very different expressions. Her mother looks at me through her tears with a sad look. She wants to come over to me, but her husband genty grabs her shoulders and shakes his head no. He looks at me with a dissapointed face first, which soon turns to anger and disgust. He stares right into my eyes. I don't mean to look away, but I'm afraid I'll give something away if I keep looking...**_

_**The reporters have started asking me questions, but I'm not aware of anything anymore. I sadly turn around and let my head fall down with guilt. Tears have started in my eyes and I want to leave, I want to be alone, but I'm being held back. the press has us surrounded and they won't let me leave. I squint my eyes at the flashing of the cameras. Everything seems to go in slow motion. I try to get away, I need fresh air... Then our teachers have noticed we're in trouble and they come and rescue us. They ask the press to leave me alone and when that doesn't work, I can feel someone grabbing me and pulling me out of the swarm and back towards the rest of the students. Everything is hazy... All I can see is his face staring at me... I'll never forget it...**_

_**Minutes later we're checking in and then heading towards the plane. When I finally sink in to my seat on the plane, I just let my head fall back. I put on my headphones and start listening to the radio. Noone says a word to me. I pretend to be asleep as we finally take off. We're going home...**_


	6. Chapter 5 Confrontations and Memories

Chapter 5 Confrontations and Memories

Randy

I'm standing here just relaxing and hanging out with Tony and the gang and all of a sudden I see Brad coming towards us in a rush. He looks very angry. He stops as he sees me.

'I need to talk to you.' He's fuming. I stay right where I am as the others look at him curiously. 'Randy, I said I need to talk to you.' I still don't move, I just stare at him.

'So, talk.' He's getting annoyed now.

'I want to talk in private.' I just keep staring at him as he stands there. He looks like he wants to punch someone. Then Tony comes to stand between us.

'Is there a problem here?' Brad just stares at me. 'We have nothing to hide here. If you want to talk to him, just talk.'

'Fine. I'd like to know why you beat up Mark.' I let a small smile appear on my face.

'Why I beat up Mark? I didn't beat him up, he fell down the stairs. Didn't he tell you?' he seems to get more annoyed by the minute.

'If he fell down the stairs, why are your fucking handprints around his neck, Randy? You tried to kill him, I know you did. Why did you do it?' I light up a cigarette and smile. Tony walks towards Brad.

'Brad, Brad, Brad... How can you accuse your own brother of something like this? He would never hurt anyone, especially young Mark. He cares about him, right Randy?' I just smile at Brad.

'Now, why don't you just go back home and take care of your brother. I heard he got hurt pretty bad.' The other guys snicker.

'I'm not leaving until I talk to Randy.' I just keep smiling and turn away from him. This seems to set Brad off, he lunges for me, but Tony stops him.

'Whoah, what was that? If he doesn't want to talk to you, than he doesn't want to talk to you. But if you don't get that, maybe I should explain it to you. Boys?' Dane and Jaz walk up to Tony and take a hold of Brad.

'Hey, let go of me. Randy? Randy! I just want to talk to you. I want to know what's going on with you, you've changed, Randy... What happened to you?' I keep my back turned towards him as Dane and Jaz drag him to a wall and hold him against it. I hear the punches and wince as I can almost feel the pain. But I don't stop them.

After a few more minutes of punching, Tony stops and walks over to me. He puts his hands on my shoulder and turns me towards him. I try not to stare at the blood on his hands as he wipes the sweat of his face with the sleeve of his jacket.

'What a workout! Come on, since he's your brother, you should get a turn.' He takes my arm and takes me towards my older brother. Dane and Jaz are holding him up. I try not to wince at the cuts on his face and the already swollen eye. His shirt is ripped in different places.

'Come on, man, what are you waiting for? I held mysef back, to give you the chance to beat him, yourself.' I don't move, I just stare at him. Brad stares at me, his eyes pleading me to help him. 'Well?'

'Just let him go. He's had enough.' Tony looks at me confused.

'What? Why? This is your chance to get back at him for what he did to you.' I keep looking at Brad with a stern face. Now Brad looks confused.

'What is he talking about, Randy? I didn't do anything to you. You have to let me go!' He looks worried. I still stare at him.

'He's not worth it. Just let him go.'

'But Randy..' 'I said let him go!' I yell in Tony's face. For a moment everyone's staring at us, waiting for Tony's reaction. Noone has ever stood up to him. We just stare at each other, both determined not to look away first.

'You heard the man, let him go.' Dane and Jaz shrug their shoulders and let Brad drop to the ground. He coughs and puts a hand on the base of the tree to hold himself up. Then he looks back at me. Tony and the guys walk back to the school, leaving me alone with him.

'Go home, Brad. You shouldn't be here.' I turn my back towards him, ready to walk away, when he stands up and puts his hands on my shoulder. I throw his hand off my shoulder.

'Don't touch me!' And I turn away again.

'Randy, come on... talk to me. We used to be able to talk about everything, what the hell happend? I mean look at yourself. I hardly recognise you anymore... You could have killed Mark last night. What the hell is the matter with you? This is not you!' I whip myself around and grab his collar and push his back against the tree.

'The old Randy is gone, Brad. Why can't you see that? This is the new me. If you don't like it, well, too bad...' I lean in close to him and give him a menacing look. Then I let him go. He adjusts his collar and looks at me in disgust.

'You are not my brother...' That does it. I punch him in the stomach and as he doubles ovr I kick his back, making him fall to the ground, grunting in pain.

'Don't ever embarass me in front of my friends again, Brad. Stay away from here, or next time I won't stop them.' I leave him lying on the ground and walk back to the guys with my back turned. Anger hits me as a memory hits me...

_**I've been home now for two weeks and I'm hanging with some friends to watch old videos of the times we spent with Lauren. Just to catch up on our memories. Mom and dad have been very supportive, giving me space when I need it. The investagation is still going, although almost everyone has come to terms with her not coming back anymore.**_

_**It's strange sitting here now, watching Lauren on the television screen. It seems so real, you almost expect her to walk through the door any minute now, like nothing happened. Even though she never will.**_

_**The video that's playing right now is of a party before Costa Rica. I wasn't there, 'cause I didn't feel well. Lauren wanted to stay with me first, but I convinced her to go. It would be her last party before leaving for Costa Rica. **_

_**In the beginning it shows everyone dancing and having fun. We all laugh as Jason comes into the picture, trying to hit on a girl, who pours her drink over him. Then some more people are dancing, Lauren as well. She's dancing pretty close with some unknown guy. Then the camera guy goes up to her and asks her if she wants to say hi to someone. She smiles and waves at the camera.**_

_**'Hi Randy! I just want to tell you that I miss you and I hope you get better soon! I love you!' Then she blows a kiss to the camera and someone else gets filmed. Tears come into my eyes as I realize just how much I miss her. Everyone awws at the moment and Jenny hugs me as she sees my eyes tearing up. I smile at her, silently thanking her.**_

_**We watch some more dancing moments and laugh again when two drunk guys get pushed into the pool outside. Then the camera goes back inside and starts zooming in on a couple kissing by the stairs. As their faces come into view, the room goes silent...**_

_**Some people gasp and put their hands to their mouth. Everyone looks shocked as Lauren's face comes into view.**_

_**My face loses all colour as the world seems to stop turning. I want to look away, but my eyes are fixated on the screen. My girlfriend cheated on me... How long had this been going on? Was it the first time? Who is the guy she's with? All these questions were going through my head as my world started to crumble. I couldn't believe it... here I was, reliving memories of the girl I had cared about so much and she was kissing another guy behind my back...**_

_**I kept watching as they seemed to kiss for hours. Then, the guy's face came into view... I just couldn't believe my eyes.. It couldnt be...**_

_**I felt my hands start shaking as I just had to get up. I needed fresh air. Everyone around me looked at me with shocked faces. Noone could believe what had just happened. Jenny asked me if I was okay, but I was so out of it, I didn't hear anything anymore. I just kept walking as I finally came outside. I leaned my back against the outside wall and let myself slide to the ground as the tears finally came...**_

_**No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the image out of my head. My girlfriend was kissing another guy, and not just a guy...**_

_**'Why did you do this?' I sobbed as I looked above me at the sky. 'How could you? I loved you...'**_

_**Then anger filled me as I thought of the guy... My hands balled into fists. My own brother with my girlfriend... That's it, just know this Brad.. this is all your fault. I've made a decision and I'm leaving my old life behind me for good. One day, you'll understand...**_

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_**A/N**_

Hi everyone! Thanks for your reviews so far. I noticed some people thought the story was confusing to read. Well, I changed the previous chapters in writing, to make them easier to read.

But as for the confusion coming from the story itself.. Well, everything will become clear later on. So, If you want to know, keep reading and reviewing my story!


	7. Chapter 6 Intervention

Chapter 6 Intervention

A few hours after Brad left, I was still fuming. How could he come over here and emberass me like that? Who does he think he is? maybe I should have let Tony go at him, he did deserve it. Especially after what he did with Lauren... He actually pretended he didn't know what I meant! I can't believe him... 

Okay, I need to stop thinking about him, he's not worth it anyway. I think I'll just head home, It's getting late anyway.And he better not run into me, Mark shouldn't either. I can't believe he told Brad about what happened.. He'll pay for that. 

So, I walk home and when I open the door, I see them all sitting in the living room talking. They stop talking as they see me. We'll I guess it's not hard to figure out who they were talking about. I give them an annoyed and start towards my bedroom door, when dad gets up. 

'Randy? Uhm, could you come in here for a minute? We'd like to talk to you.' I look angrily towards him and I see he's nervous. That makes me smile slightly. My own dad, scared of me? This could be good. 

I start walking towards them and sit in the empty chair, relaxed and I put my hands behind my neck and put my feet on the table. I look at them with a smile. Brad looks horrible, his eye is almost swollen shut and his lip is split. Mom sits there, looking upset. She looks like she's been crying. Mark keeps rubbing his temples. I smile as I look at him. 

'What's the matter Mark? Have you got a headache?' I smirk as Mark and Brad look at me with wide eyes. Dad looks nervous again. He scrapes his throat and has trouble looking me in the eye, while mom sits there looking concerned. 

'Uhm, Randy.. We had a talk with Brad and Mark about you.' I smirk again. 

'Really? Well, what did my dear brothers have to say?' Dad looks at the floor, while he scratches his head. 

'Uhm, well, they said you uhm.. you beat them up.' I give him a confused look. Then I start laughing. 

'Excuse me? yeah, ofcourse I did.' Dad looks at mom with a concerned glance. I stop laughing. 

'What? You don't believe them do you?' He looks at the floor again. I get up angrily. 'How can you think I would do that? I would never hurt anyone!' Brad wants to get up with an angry look, but dad stops him. 

'Randy, look. They told us what happened, we saw the bruises on Mark's neck for one thing. Just be honest with us: did you beat them up?' I don't respond. 

'We just want to help you, okay? Whatever is going on here, we'll get you through it.' That's mom for you. She tries to make me think they can help me, that she's just concerned about me. But as soon as they find out what's really going on, they won't be so eager to help me. But, hey, if I don't say anything, they might never stop asking. 

I look at them and start laughing quietly. They look at eachother like I've completely lost it. 

'I'm sorry, but you guys should see yourselves sitting there, acting like you really care. Okay, yeah, I beat up Brad and I nearly choked Mark, so what? They deserved it.' Then I laugh louder as mom and dad's eyes go wide. Mom puts a hand in front of her mouth, while dad sits down and slumps his shoulders defeatedly. 

'Why would you do something like that?' Mom tells me in a near whisper with evidence of her voice cracking. 

'Oh come on mom! They're fine aren't they? I don't see what the problem is? I told you, they deserved it.Besides, Brad's lucky. He could have ended up a lot worse, for what he did to me.' I look at him with angry eyes as he looks back angry and confused. He stands up. 

'What are you talking about? You said that before, too. What did I do to you?' 

'Oh, yeah, right. Like you have no idea what I'm talking about Brad.' 

'I'm telling you I don't know! What could I have possibly done to make you so angry with me?' I clench my fist and try to stay calm. But as soon as I start talking, I can hear my voice shaking. 

'How about sleeping with my girlfriend.' I stare at him, anger pouring out. He looks confused. 

'What do you mean?' I'm really starting to loose control... 

'I'm talking about Lauren, you fucking basterd! I know what you did Brad.. Did you think I was stupid? I know you kissed her and god knows what else...' Suddenly he seems to understand. And while everone around us look confused, he looks guilty and stares at the ground, trying hard to avoid my eyes. 

'Yeah, I know all about that, Brad. How long had this been going on Brad? Did you ever screw her?' He doesn't look at me. I go over to him and grab his shoulder, roughly turning him to face me. 'How far did you go, Brad?' When he finally looks at me, the guilt is easy to read. Anger finally takes over as I lunge for him. He doesn't even fight back as we hit the floor. I start punching his face. 

Behind me dad quickly gets up and tries to pull me away. I can hear mom crying. But I'm too angry to care, I just want to kill Brad for what he did. Dad puts him arms around my middle and tries to pull me away again, but I let my arms fly and before I know it, dad is on the floor next to me, holding his nose. I go right back to punching Brad, who's still not defending himself. 

'Randy, stop it! You're goiing to kill him! Tim, pleasedo something!' Mom cries. Dad gets on his feet fast. 

'Mark, help me get him.' This hardly registers in my mind. All I can think about is my brother screwing the only girl I've ever loved... I keep punching and kicking out my feet, as I feel my arms being pulled back and my legs still kicking as I'm lifted off my brother. Dad en Mark push me against the floor as I squirm and try to get away. Finally, after struggling for a few minutes, I give up. 

Meanwhile mom has rushed to Brad's side. He slowly gets up and she helps him to the couch. She starts crying harder as she sees me. She looks defeated. 

Dad and Mark slowly let me go. I get up angrily, adjusting my clothes. I'm still breathing heavily and anger is still evident in my eyes, but I don't want to deal with it anymore. Then dad grabs me by the arm and makes me turn towards. I look at him and give him the angriest glare I can give. He's regaining his own breath. 

'What the hell is wrong with you! You could have killed him!' I look back at Brad, who's now holding a washcloth against his other eye. 

'Actually, I would have killed him if you hadn't stopped me.' Dad looks at me with wide eyes. Then he looks concerned. 

'What happened to you? You never used to be like this.. Did we do something wrong? Are you just trying to rebel against us? Tell us, so we can fix it.' I shake my arm free and laugh at him. 

'Don't flatter yourself dad, you didn't have anything to do with this. And I have been like this for nearly two years now. But I guess everyone's been to busy to notice.' He looks guilty now. 

'Randy, I'm sorry okay? But we know now... And we'd like to help you. But you need to tell us what's going on... I mean, you're out of control! I don't want to have to call the police for this. Just tell us!' I laugh again. 

'You would actually call the police? On your own son?' He rubs his face. 

'Randy, you nearly killed both of your brothers. You've clearly got problems. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix this.. We love you Randy, we care too much about you too loose you like this.' He grabs my shoulders and looks at me with a concerned look in his eyes. I wriggle out of his grasp. 

'Just let go of me! You don't know what you're talking about.. I don't need your help.' I step backwards. 

'Yes you do Randy, just look at yourself! I hardly even recognise you anymore...you've changed so much. Please let us help you. Is it alcohol? Or drugs? Did you get into trouble somehow that you can't get out of? Please, Randy..' 

'Just leave me the hell alone! I'm not on drugs or alcohol, alright? I don't need your help, I am fine. I don't this crap from you. Why don't you go and help Brad, he always was your favorite son, isn't he?' 

'Randy, come on, you know that's not true!' 

'Just fuck you dad! I don't need you, I don't need anybody! Just leave me alone!' And with that I forcefully open the front door and slam it behind me. 

Timcloses his eyes and rubs his face again. How could they not have seen this? How could not see their son was in trouble? He sighs and walks back over to his wife. She looks at him with tears in her eyes. he takes her into his arms as she lets her emotions run free. 

'How could he do this, Tim? Why can't he just accept our help..' He tries to soothe her. 

'I don't know Jill... But we need to help him. I'm not just going to sit by and let him dissapear right in front of our eyes. We're going to put a stop to this. Enough is enough.' He continues to stroke his wife's back as she cries. All the while worrying about his middle son. 

Don't worry Randy, everything will be ok, I'm not giving up on you...

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A/N Hi! Keep reading this story and let me know what you think, the more reviews I get for my stories, themore I'll continue updating!

Everything is getting darker and soon things will start to get clear. If there is anything you want me to put in the storyorif there is something you don't understand and want me to explain, let me know. I'll try to put it in the next chapter! Thanksforeverything and enjoy!


	8. Chapter 7 I'm Not Crazy!

Chapter 7 I'm Not Crazy!

That conversation went great! I didn't go back home until midnight, when I knew everyone would be asleep.

As I walk in the door I can see dad sitting on the couch. I don't look at him, even as he get's up and calls my name. I just keep on going and walk downstairs. When I get there, I can only see one bed. They must have moved Mark in with Brad. I try not to burst out laughing. God, they are so pathetic. Oh, well, I finally get my room back.

I climb into bed and fall asleep fast, unfortunately that is included with the same nightmare again.

_The next morning..._

As I hardly slept anyway, I got up early and headed towards the school again, where Tony was waiting for me. We laughed together as I told him some of the stuff that happened the day before. After that we wait for the rest of gang to join us, so the real fun can begin.

When the final high school kids run home, so we won't hurt them, we go home ourselves.

As I walk around to the backdoor I notice a strange guy sitting on our couch. He is wearing a suit and mom and dad are sitting with him,talking and looking serious. As I open the backdoor, mom gets up quickly and rushes over to me.

'Honey, I'm so glad you're home.' I give her a confused look and I lean backwards as she tries to hug me.

'What are you doing?' She looks hurt, but doesn't say anything. Instead, she heads over to the kitchen to get some coffee.

Dad gets up now with the other guy.

'Randy, I'd like you to meet Stan Parsons, he works with your mom as a Psychiatrist.' He holds out his hand and smiles at me.

'Hello Randy, it is very nice to meet you. Your parents have told me so much about you.' I still don't take his hand, I just glare at dad with a sly smile.

'Did they now? Isn't that wonderful. Well, I'll just leave you to chat some more. Apparently you talk more about me when I'm not around. So, enjoy.' With that I head to my bedroom, but as soon as I start walking, he stops me.

'You know, you shouldn't walk away from your problems.' I stop walking and turn around to face him.

'Excuse me?' He walks towards me.

'You should talk to someone if there is a problem, don't let it change who you are.' What the hell?

'Hey, I don't have any problems. And who do you think you are anyway? You can't talk to me like that!'

'Actually, your parents came to me. They seem to think you do need help. And the best way for me to be able to help you is if you admit you have a problem and talking about it.' Wow, he has a lot of nerve.

'Well you know what, as a matter of fact I do have a problem right now.'

'Really? Oh, well, would you lke to share it with us?' I walk up to him and get right up in his face.

'Sure. Right now the only problem I have is you. So if you really want to help me, why don't you just get out.' His face stays friendly as he smiles.

'I don't think you really mean that.'

'Oh, but I do.' I'm really getting pissed off now. I keep walking and want to raise my fist, but dad comes and holds me back.

'Now, there's no need for that. I'm only here to help you. It would make you feel a lot better if you tell someone what's bothering you. Or you could write it down if you don't want to talk.' Dad has to keep holdig my arms as I want to punch his face in.

'Again, I don't need help! And besides: since when do psychiatrists force someone to talk? Don't they need permission from the regarding person? What I understand, is that, if someone decides he doesn't need a psychiatrist, because he is not crazy, you are not allowed to do anything. The person in question can only be forced if done so by law enforcement.' I shrug dad away from me.

'Well, you seem to know the rules very well.'

'I am not stupid, alright. I used to be a straight A-student, so don't think I don't know anything.'

'Well, I never said you were stupid. But if you 'were' an A-student, I wonder what happened? Why aren't you in college?' Good thing he's moved out of my reach.

'That is none of your business! I chose not to go. It was my own decision and I... Why am I explaining this to you? You don't even know me. You know what? This conversation is over.'

'Okay, if that's what you want. I can't force you,like you said. Well, if you ever decide you do want to talk, I'll leave my card. I'll also leave a pen and a notepad, maybe you'll feel more comfortable writing down your problems. Normally if you release the problems, you'll feel a lot better.' I just stare at him. 'Well, I'll just leave. I hope you will think about this and call me, alright?' He walks to the door, which I have already opened for him. He holds out his hand again and I just glare at him. He pulls his hand back and walks out. He wants to turn around, but I've already closed the door.

As I turn around I try hard not to look at my parents. Mom is cleaning the counter, she seems nervous and avoids looking at me. Dad looks at the floor when I turn me head towards him.

'You must be so proud of yourself. You don't know what to do anymore so you hire a shrink to come talk to me? You'd rather have a complete stranger talk to me then doing it yourself? Real good parenting, guys.'

'Look, Randy, we were just...' I hold up my hand to stop dad from talking.

'I wasn't finished yet. Did you ever stop and think that maybe this is my problem? Did it ever occur to you that maybe I act different because I was through with acting all goody two shoes, even though nobody cared. You know, I busted mu butt tryiong to be nice and did it make my life any better? No, it didn't. So why keep trying? yeah, maybe I have changed. And you know what? I like myself this way, so you can just suck it up. I'm not going to change because you want me to. I don't care anymore, because you don't care anymore.' They both look defeated and sad. Excellent. 'Oh, and another thing: the drugs and alcohol thing? I lied. I do use them and I like it.' They look shocked.

'Randy, you can't. As long as you live in this house, you will not use any alchol or drugs!' I smile at my mother and walk up to her in a threatening manner, she backs up immediately.

'Oh, really? And what are you going to do about it?' She looks scared.

'Randy, that's enough!' I put my hands up and walk away from her.

'Hey, I didn't do anything. Yet!' I laugh. Mom starts to cry again as dad gets angry.

'Go to your room!' I keep laughing.

'You can't tell me what to do, remember. But fine, I will. Maybe I'll just go smoke some coke, It's really good. You want any?'

'Get out!' I laugh as I walk downstairs. They are too easy. Who do they think they are, sending a shrink for me? I'm not crazy.

But for some reason the guy stays in my mind. Maybe it would help if I talked to someone.. And he's not allowed to tell anyone, so it could stay a secret. Wait, no, I can't... Can I?

I take the card out of my pocket and look at the number on it. Should I? I pick up the phone, but hesitate and I put it down again. No, I better think about this... It might be too dangerous. But it would help me if I told someone. Maybe if I.. No, I need to go somewhere and think long and hard about this, without anyone trying to interupt me, it's a big decision..

So I head back upstairs and walk out the backdoor, dissapearing again for hours, without looking back.

--

**A/N **Hi! Sorry for taking so long to update, but I'm kinda stuck... I know the ending, but the in between chapter are the hardest to come up with. But I will try my best to update as soon as possible!

Thanks for the reviews sop far, I hope you and enjoy this chapter. And again: if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask!

Please read and review!


	9. Chapter 8 Ghosts

Chapter 8 Ghosts...

I've decided it's better not to call that psychiatrist. It would only make things more complicated for everyone.. I better leave this alone.

I am so tired right now... I haven't slept in such a long time. Every night the memories of that final night in Costa Rica come back to haunt me... And it's starting to get to me. Sometimes when I walk around, I swear I can see Lauren walking around with me, like she's following me. It's scaring me...

It's 4 am right now and I'm wide awake again. Tired as hell, but wide awake. So I get up and walk over to the bathroom to get some water. As I look in the mirror, my reflection scares me. I look like hell. I have bloodshot eyes and my skin looks pale. I have thick bangs under my eyes, reflecting my lack of sleep. But if you just look at my eyes, you would think I was high on drugs or something... Or sick... Anyway, It doesn't look healthy.

I throw water in my face. As I turn off the faucet and look up, my heart skips a beat. There's Lauren, she's standing right behind me in the mirror. I quickly look behind me, but there's noone there. Okay, that is it. I need to do something about this.. This lack of sleep has me hallucinating...

I get dressed and go upstairs. It's 5 am as I open the fridge to get something to eat. I find a salad, maybe not very filling, but at least it's food mom didn't cook herself.

As I close the fridge door my hartt skips another beat. Brad is right behind me. As he sees me he looks at the ground as I start to feel anger rising again.

'Wow, you look like hell.' He quietly says. I look at him, his jaw is still swollen a bit and his eye almost looks normal again.

'So do you.'

'Yeah, thanks to you.' He mumbles under his breath. I glare and walk up to him.

'What did you say?' He looks at the ground again as he backs away from me.

'Uhm, nothing.'

'Right. Some piece of advice for you Brad: stay out of my way. And don't talk to me, alright? It'll be a lot better for both of us if you do.' With that I walk over to the living room and sit on the couch, ready to eat the salad.

'Look, I just wanted to apologise for...' I quickly turn my head towards him.

'Just stop right there. I told you not to talk to me. It's too late for any excuses anyway. You know what? I'll just go somwhere else and eat. It's too crowded in here.' I get up of the couch and head out the door, leaving Brad standing there, feeling guilty. Serves him right.

I go towards the back of our group's meeting place. Even though it's this early, I can see Tony's outline leaning against the wall.

As he sees me he nods. He looks at me like he expected me to show up.

'Couldn't sleep, huh?' He doesn't look at me.

'Not really. Haven't been able to in a while.' He nods his head like he knows what I mean.

'Nightmares?' I nod. 'Yeah, should have thought of that. Jack used to have those in the beginning, too.'

I look at him with a curious glance.

He puts his hand in his pocket and grabs something. My eyes widen as I see a bag of pills. He sees my reaction and smiles.

'Hey, don't worry alright? These are just sleeping pills. If you take two of these each night before you go to bed, you'll sleep all through the night. Here, just take them.' He holds his hand out and I hesitate. He looks at me expectantly.

'Oh, come on. They will help you relax, trust me. If you don't like them, you can give them back, ok? Just try them.' I still hesitate, but I take them from him and put them in my pocket. He seems satisfied and leans back against the wall. I do the same.

Too bad I didn't notice the sly smile appearing on his face...

We stayed at the school for hours and at about 8 pm, most of us went home. Luckily, on the way home I didn't come across Lauren anymore. So far so good...

I ignore everyone as I walk in the house from the back door. I just grab some food from the fridge and head back downstairs as everyone just stares after me.

After 'dinner', I feel even more tired. But I now I won't be able to sleep. I hesitantly grab the small bag of pills from my pocket and stare at them as I hold them in my hands.

I'm not sure this is a good idea. I mean, how do I know what he gave me? But on the other hand, I've tried everything else. And the other guys convinced me that th pills were genuine. Some of them had used the same ones and they assured me they worked perfectly.

Okay... I walk to the bathroom and grab a glass of water. I sit back on the bed and take two pills out of the small bag. I hold them in one hand and the glass of water in the other. I take a deep breath and swallow the pills with the water. I put down the glass and sigh deeply.

Why am I feeling nervous aout this? I should just lie down and wait for the pills to take effect.

So I lie down on my back and pull the covers up to my chest, close my eyes and wait for blissfull sleep to finally take me over.

After a few minutes I quickly pen my eyes again as something strange is happening. Whatever I'm feeling, it's not sleep...

It seems as though the room is spinning entirely and it staus that way as I close my eyes. The only difference is when I open my eyes, I see colours and some sort of light in my line of sight. I squint and close my eyes again.

But I quickly have to open them again, as I hear a voice next to me. I look around frantically trying to find out where this voice is coming from that keeps calling my name. Then as I look in the right corner of my room, I can see a shape coming towards me.

My heart is beating in my chest so hard, it's starting to hurt. The voice is becoming louder as the shape comes closer. Then I back up to the wall as I start to recognise the shape... Lauren...

'Randy? Why did you leave me?' My eyes widen as her face comes into view. I have to resist the urge to throw up when I can see part of her skull coming through the rotting flesh on her cheeks.

'Oh god...' I whisper as I try to back up further, but the wall stops me. I have to get away...

'Randy! You left me! This is your fault Randy, your fault!' She looks angry and points to me. 'You have to make this right Randy... I'm dead because of you!'

'No, that's not true!'

'It's your fault Randy! You killed me!'

'No, no! Get away from me!' I put my hands over my ears and I squeeze my eyes shut as she keeps getting closer and her voice seems to get louder.

'It was you, just look at the blood on your hands!' I look at my hands and actually see that I am covered in blood. I panic and try frantically to wipe it off, but it won't go away.

She reaches me and I jump off the bed and run to the door. I try to open it, but it's stuck. I try to pull it and throw my fists against it, screaming for someone to open the door.

It won't work, she hass turned around and is coming for me again. My heart is still beating fast and it's getting more difficult to breathe.

'No, please, leave me alone...' I plead with her as tears start to stream down my face.

'Like how that feels? Not being able to breathe? Well now you know how I felt!'

I let my body slide to the ground as tears run down my face. My breathing is getting harder. I can feel the door behind me being pushed forward, but I can't respond as all I can see is Lauren coming towards me and invisible hands holding my throat shut. Slowly my world starts to fade to black.

The last thing I hear is my mom screaming my name as I feel my body start to convulse and then nothing...

-

A/N Hi everyone! I hope you like this chapter! I know it was very dark, but I had sudden inspiration to write this, so hopefully you'll keep reading ;)

Please read and review so I can keep updating my stories!


	10. Chapter 9 The Other Side

Chapter 9 The Other Side

_This takes place during the previous chapter, on the other side of Randy's bedroom door..._

Brad

We're all sitting at the dining table, eating. Without Randy. But it's been like that for a while now, so we don't wait for him anymore.

I still want to apoligize to him for what happened between me and lauren. He just doesn't get that I really am sorry and I do feel guilty about it. I don't know why I did it, I guess it just happened. I know that's not an excuse, but it's all I've got.

Everyone's quiet. Noone seems to know what to say. I feel bad for mom as I she looks at the empty chair next to Mark. I know this has been very hard on her.

I guess all of us always saw Randy as the one who would be most succesfull in life. Mostly because of his strong beliefs in a better world. Mom was always against him going to Costa Rica, not that she expected this outcome though. None of us ever could have predicted this...

All of a sudden everyone looks up as the front door opens and Randy walks in. He doesn't even look at us and walks straight to the fridge. He looks even worse than he did this morning. It's horrible to watch my younger brother as he destroys himself like this. Apparently he openly admitted to dad that he's on drugs. Not that he had to, I mean, you can easily tell by looking at him.

I really wish I could do something, but we can't. Mom's colleague told us that he needs to ask us for help and only then are we allowed to do anything. Mom wasn't happy about it, but we have no choice.

Right now I can tell mom just wants to jump up and pull him into her arms, and make it all better. Dad knows it, too, as he gives her a warning look.

We continue to watch him as he takes some food and dissapears to his room. As he shuts the door, we all release the breath we were holding in. Mom still watches the door he just went through with a sad look.

'Jill?' She turns to us with tears in her eyes. 'Honey, I know this is difficult, but remember what Stan said. We can't do anything, unless he asks us to. Look, I don't like it either. You think I like watching one of my boys dissapearing right in front of our eyes? Ofcourse I don't, but we have to do what's best. And right now, that means leaving him alone.' She nods sadly and goes back to her dinner.

After half an hour mom is doing the dishes as me and dad are watching a basketball game we taped last night. Mark went upstairs to do his homework. We're just enjoying the game when all of a sudden we hear strange noises coming from the basement. Mom noticed it, too, as she is looking at the basement door.

Dad shuts off the sound of the tv as we try to figure out what is going on. Dad gets up slowly and walks towards the door to listen closer.

'What is it?' Mom asks him. He puts his lips to his mouth to indicate for her to be quiet. He puts his ear on the door. I get up also as we all listen carefully.

All of a sudden the sounds get louder. Someone seems to be screaming.

'Is that Randy?' I whisper to dad. He tries to listen again.

'I think it is. I'm going to go see what's the hell is going on down there.' He opens the basement door and goes downstairs.

The screams become louder and more clear now. He seems to be screaming for help and pounding on his bedroom door. Mam puts a hand to her mouth. I go to her and hold her as we wait for dad to let us know something.

I can hear dad knocking on his door and saying his name. Then I hear him yell to me.

'Brad, grab a screwdriver. I can't get this door to open!' Randy's screams seem to get louder as I run towards the garage and quicly grab a screwdriver. When I move down the stairs I see mom is there as well, already crying and pleading to help Randy as dad is still trying to open the door. I hand him the screwdriver and he tries to loosen the screws of the door.

As he works to open the door, we can hear Randy pleading someone to stop. He seems to be crying, which only makes us want to help him faster. Then the sounds stop all of a sudden.

My heart is pounding in my chest as dad finally opens the door and we look inside to see what is happening. Mom goes in first.

I fear the worst as mom screams for my brother. As I finally walk in, my heart nearly stops as I see my younger brother convulsing on the ground, gasping for breath and my mom holding him closely. I hardly register my dad screaming my name as he tries to get my attention.

I finally look up as some of the daze has lifted off and I hear the words dad has been mouthing.

'Brad, I'm going to call an ambulance. Stay here and try to see if he's breathing!' he rushes upstairs as I kneel next to my mom. The convulsions seem to have stopped, so I listen to his chest to check for a pulse. His heart is beating fast and his breathing is coming in in gasps. Mom holds on to him and as dad comes back down. He takes my place as I shakily stand up and sit on his bed.

I can't do anything but watch, as my parents finally break down over the body of my once so happy go-lucky brother.

Then, something catches my attention. A small bag of pills lies on his nightstand, seemingly harmless. I pick them up carefully. As I stare at the pills, I can feel anger rising.

Why the hell did we listen to Stan Pearson? We should have talked to Randy. He may have told us he didn't want our help, but if we had just held on, maybe we wouldn't be in this mess. We could have helped him, we could have... oh forget it. Right now I just want him to survive...

I just can't believe this is happening right now. I never imagined him doing drugs. He never believed in them. I even remember him asking me what I was thinking when he found out that I did pot once in a while a few years ago. Times sure have changed since then...

I ball my fists as I let my emotions run free and I cry for my brother's life.

Everything is a blur to me as the ambulance arrives. I don't remember the paramedics loading my brother onto a stretcher, or performing CPR when his heart stops the first time. I don't even remember handing the bag of pills to one of them as they rush upstairs and the ambulance siren moving in the distance, until it's too far to hear.

All I know is, the last bit of hope I had of getting my brother back, has just been shattered...

--

A/N Okay, now, I really did struggle a lot with this chapter, so I'm sorry if it's no good. Let me know what you guys think, if you don't like it, let me know if you have any ideas on how I can improve it and I will repost it.

Thanks for reading this story and please keep reading and reviewing!


	11. Chapter 10 Revelations

Chapter 10 Revelations

Brad

It's been 1,5 hours since Randy was rushed to the hospital. Now we're just sitting in the waiting room, waiting for the doctor to come tell us how he's doing. He had an overdose, that was clear, but no one knows on what.

They had to pump his stomach, but they're still trying to find out what kind of drugs he took, so they'll know how to treat him.

Mom and dad told the paramedics that Randy talked about drugs and that he's addicted. But we don't even know if that's true. He's been lying about a lot of things, I know he has, so I don't know. He's just not the kind of person to... Oh, who am I kidding. He's changed so much already, maybe he is addicted to drugs...

Mom is still crying. Dad is trying to comfort her, but he seems close to breaking down himself. Mark just looks shocked.

I can't blame them. I mean, I know he's not exactly been himself, but no one expected this. Mom said he flatlined in the ambulance for a second time. They didn't get him back until a good two minutes...

I really hope he's ok. He just can't die, I won't let him!

Tim

I can't help but wonder what was going through his mind when he took these drugs. Was he trying to kill himself or was he just craving for attention. I don't know if that's the reason he's been acting this way, but I can't imagine another reason. Randy would never be stupid enough to really get addicted on drugs. He's always been the smartest and wisest out of all three of our boys. What the hell happened?

I hope we can go see him soon. And if he's awake when we do, I'll let him know exactly what I think of all this. This whole situation has gotten way out of hand. No matter what reason he has for acting this way, it's going to stop right here, right now!

Jill

I can't believe this is happening... Why didn't I see this coming? I should have seen the signs. He's been crying out for help and we didn't do anything.

I'm his mother. I should have known something was wrong. Ever since Lauren dissapeared he hasn't been himself.

Oh, why didn't I do anything? I should have talked to him. But instead all I did was focus on my new job as a Psyciatrist, that seems so ironic. I've been trained to help people with their problems, yet I can't even talk to my own son...

Mark

This is so weird... Out of all of us I alwas thought Randy would be the last person to end up on the wrong path. But here we are, waiting to find out what drugs he overdosed on.

I used to look up to him. Now I'm just worried about him.

I really hope he learns a lesson from this. And if he doesn't, I hope mom and dad will finally realize he needs help. I know they had that shrink come over to the house, so he could meet Randy. But they didn't really expect him to willingly talk to the guy did they? With everything he's done, I think the only way to really help him is to force him to talk to someone. It may sound harsh, but he needs to see he can't just get away with this. He needs help. And this time he'll get it, wether he wants it or not.

I know there has to be a reason for him to have changed like this. Something happened in Costa Rica. I don't believe he had something to do with Lauren's dissapearance.. Or I don't want to believe that. But I'm sure he knows something. And now he feels so guilty, that he... no, he wouldn't have, would he?

Oh, here comes the doctor. Everyone is looking at him, we all want to know what's going on...

'Mr. and Mrs. Taylor?' Mom and dad both sit up straight.

'Yes, I'm Tim Taylor and this is my wife Jill. These are our other sons, Brad and Mark.'

'Hello, I'm Dr. McGill. I've been treating you're son Randy. As you may already know, your son had an overdose. We did a Tox Screen on his blood and we had the pills tested that your son found on Randy's nightstand. We found a large amount of Methamphetamine in his system, which caused his heart to beat too fast, resulting in cardiac arrest twice, as you also know. We had to pump his stomach to get rid of the drugs in his system. The overdose was mostly caused by a too large dosis of the taken drug. But I do have a question to ask you. The paramedics that brought him in, said that according to you your son admitted to being addicted to drugs. Am I correct?' They both nod as we all try to digest this information. 'Well, the Tox Screen we did on your son's blood, shows no signs of drug abuse. Meaning he was never addicted to drugs. Now, that might be the reason why he took such a large ammount of the drug, he might not have known how much he could handle or maybe he didn't even know what he was taking. It could have been an accident.'

'Wait, you're saying he was not addicted to any drugs? You're sure about this?' The doctor nods as dad looks confused. 'But why would he lie about that? No, wait, don't answer that. You said it could have been an accident, what do you mean by that? What other explanation do you have for this?'

'Well, I don't know your son. But a lot of overdoses are not accidental.'

'You mean he meant for this to happen? That he might have tried to... No, he wouldn't. I mean, I know he's been having problems and he might not have been himself lately, but to attempt suicide? No, I don't believe that. Not him, no way...' I can't blame mom and dad for not believing this, but I think Randy's problems might be way bigger than we can imagine.

'Well, I think the only way we can find out what happened, is to wait for him to tell us. Unfortunately, the Methamphetamine also caused for psychosis, meaning he's mentally unstable right now. He's been very paranoid as well as delusional and he seems to have been hallucinating. He woke up a few times, in which the delusion and paranoia were very present as well as the hallucinations. He was absolutely convinced that a girl with the name Lauren was in the room with him, wanting to kill him. Have you heard of this name?' I'm sure he mostly asked that because all of our faces probably paled at the mention of her name.

'Lauren was his girlfriend of nearly two years. She dissapeared one night about two years ago when they were in Costa Rica together. No one knows what happened. Randy was the last person to see her alive. She was never found. We tried to talk to him about it, but he always avoided the subject. Since then, he started to change.'

'I see. So maybe he locked away all of his emotions and memories resulting from that night and the girl. The drugs might have enlarged those emotions, making it impossible to hide them anymore. He bottled them up so much, they had to come out sometime, and now that they have, they're coming out all at once. It might explain the heavy emotional and psychological reactions he's been having. Well, unfortunately we won't find out anything until he's coherent enough to tell us. I've already given him anti-psychotics, and he should be back in a normal state of mind in about half an hour. Right now he's sleeping. I would like to wait until he wakes up before I let you in to see him, because the psychosis might still make him a little paranoid. Right now I have another patient to go see. I will come back in half an hour to check on your son. If you have any questions, you can also ask one of the attending nurses. Please, if you'll excuse me now.' With that the doctor leaves, leaving us in the waiting room once again, by ourselves. Mom starts to cry again and dad is dumbfounded by all this information.

I look up in slight surprise as I see Brad getting up from his chair.

'I'm going to go get some fresh air. You wanna come?' I nod. Fresh air sounds good right now...

--

A/N Hi! Thanks for all the reviews. I'm sorry for the long wait, but as you might be able to tell from this chapter, I had a hard time writing a new chapter for this story. I'm sorry if some things in here are incorrect. I tried to look most of the medical stuff up on the web, but couldn't find everything. Please, if you see anything that's not right, let me know and I'll make sure to change it, thanks :)

I hpe you enjoy this chapter. I hope it's not too confusing. Next chapter Randy will be waking up. Read and review to find out what happens when they talk to him.

Let me know if you have any ideas or suggestions for this story or maybe even questions regarding the already posted chapters. I'll try to answer everything, but I'm not giving away any plot details ;)

Love, Baxxie


	12. Chapter 11 Help?

Chapter 11 Help?

Randy

All I can hear is beeping around me and voices, so many of them. I just want to crawl away from them.

It's so dark right now. But then again, I'd rather have the darkness than Lauren coming after me again...

I feel so dizzy right now.. Everytime I move, my world just moves with me.

Wow, I'm not even making sense to myself.. What the hell is going on?

One minute I'm taking sleeping pills to finally get some rest and now I'm.. I don't even know. All I remember is somehow Lauren? Coming after me and threatening to kill me. I've been having nightmares for almost two years now, but none of them were ever that bad. I can remember somehow ending up on the floor of my bedroom and then my body starting convulsing, then nothing.

I could almost swear it really happened, but that's just stupid. I took heavy sleeping pills, ofcourse I was completely out of it. My mind just wasn't used to it.

Okay, I'm starting to get bored with the darkness now, maybe I should open my eyes...

As I crack one eye open, I quickly shut it again and groan at the brightness that hit my sight. I can hear an unfamiliar voice utter an apology and then walking around and closing some sort of blinds. Wait, I don't have blinds in my room.

My eyes are still shut tight. I don't intend on opening them again, I'm obviously still asleep. I can hear someone approaching the bed. My heart starts to beat faster, I start to panic. It could be anyone.. I have to do something.

I pretend to be asleep as I hear the unfamiliar voice starting to talk to me.

'Randy? It's ok, you can open your eyes now. I've closed the blinds, so the room isn't as bright as before. They still need to adjust to the light probably. Randy? Can you hear me?' The male voice comes closer. As it ends up nearly in my face, my hand shoots out, closing around his throat as I jump up and open my eyes.

My eyes do need to adjust, but it only takes a minute. As does the spinning of the room. But as I'm trying to clear my vision, my hand doesn't let go. As I really don't recognise the man, wearing a white coat?, I feel I have to defend myself.

'Who are you? Where am I?' When he doesn't answer me, I only grip tigher. Now he's just making choking noises.

'Answer me! Where the fuck am I? What do you want with me?'

Somewhere in my mind, I register someone coming up behind me and trying to pull me off the guy, but I have no intention on letting go. I start to swing my arms around. I end up hitting one of the other guys in the nose. I keep my eyes on the man who can't breath and keep gripping tighter. A voice in the back of my mind is telling me to stop, but I hardly hear it anymore.

All of a sudden I feel a painful sting in my arm. As I look, I see another guy in a white coat holding a syringe. I try to fight it, but whatever is in that syringe, It's taking me over. I can feel my body getting weaker and my vision is starting to swim once more. I keep fighting, but I'm losing. I lose my grip on the man's throat and then again, nothing...

_Hours later..._

As I wake up, I'm confused. I slowly open my eyes. My body feels heavy. I want to stretch, but I notice I can't move my arms or legs.

What the hell? As I open my eyes further and look around I notice I'm not exactly in my room anymore. What is going on? It looks like a hospital room. I try to move my arms and legs again. Nothing. I try to look down and then I notice the restraints...

I start to panic. I try to pull at the restraints. What's going on? Where am I?

Just then the door opens. A man walks in, looking at the stethoscope, I say he's a doctor.

'Goodmorning Mr. Taylor. Nice to see you awake again.' I pull at the restraints again in anger.

'Who are you? Where am I? And why am I tied up?' He smiles at me and takes my chart, writing something down.

'My name is Dr. Steve Anderson. You are in the hospital. We had to restrain you for your own good. Now that I have answered all of your questions, how about you answer mine. How are you feeling right now?'

'How do you think I feel? I go to bed and wake up in the hospital, tied up, with no recollection of how I got here. Yeah, I feel just peachy.' I say it with all the sarcasm I can muster.

'So you have no memories of waking up here before?'

'What are you talking about? I told you, I went to bed and I just woke up with these restraints. Now could you please let me go?'

'I'm sorry but I can't do that. You will have to be mentally cleared first.' I give him a confused look. 'I need to make sure you're stable now and not going to hurt anyone anymore. You did wake up earlier. But I'm guessing the drugs weren't completely out of your system yet. You attacked your actual doctor, Dr. Mason Wright. You nearly choked him. I had to sedate you, because you wouldn't let go. You broke one of the orderly's nose, when he tried to pry you off the doctor. Do you remember any of that?' I look at him in shock.

'What are you talking about? This is the first time I woke up. I didn't hurt anyone. And what do you mean with drugs? What drugs? Why am I here? And where's my family? Could you just tell me what the fuck is going on here?'

'Calm down, mr. Taylor. You were brought in here yesterday after your family called 911. You had an overdose. Your brother found a bag of pills on your nightstand. After your tox screen came back, along with the test results of the pills, Dr. Wright confirmed you overdosed on Methamphetamine, or Meth as you youngsters know it.' I felt like a ton of bricks had just hit me. Did he say Meth? No way, I only took sleeping pills. Tony said they were... Oh, fuck.. He lied to me... Fucking bastard, I'll get him for that... Now what am I going to do? I can't tell them where I got those pills or why I took them, if I tell them that, I have to tell them everything. Or they'll figure it out by themselves. Shit!

The doctor must have noticed me panicking, as he gives me a concerned glance.

'You're very lucky your family found you when they did. You could have been dead by now. Would you care to tell me why you took those pills? Was it intentional?' I don't answer him. I just glare at him.

'Maybe if you untie me, I'll let you know.' He sighs and gets up.

'I'm sorry, but the restraints are there to keep you from hurting those around you and yourself. They've been n for about five hours now and they will remain there for another nineteen hours. Now I understand you don't want to tell me. That's why I talked to your parents and we have agreed to send in a Psyciatrist to come and talk to you.'

'I'm sorry, but 'we have agreed'? Don't I get a say in this? I don't need a fucking shrink! I'm perfectly fine.'

'Really? yes, we've seen proof of that, certainly. This is for your own good, mr. Taylor. Mr. Parsons will be coming in to talk to you shortly. And I will be back in about two hours to check on you. You are very lucky to be alive, mr. Taylor. I hope you realize that.'

'Yeah, whatever. Wait, did you say Parsons? As in Stan Parsons?'

'Yes, do you know him?' I groan in frustration.

'Unfortunately I do... he works with my mom. They tried to get me to talk to him before.'

'Ah, well, maybe then you'll feel more at ease. He does great work. He's helped a lot of people. He's a good man, I'm sure he can help you.'

I just snort. Who the hell does this guy think he is? What a weird doctor... I can't believe they tied me up. Why would I hurt anyone?

And Tony... When I get out of here, he's gonna hear about this. Sleeping pills... Why did I trust him? God, I feel so stupid right now. I should have known better. I should have trusted my instincts...

Now I get to sit here and wait for that damn psychiatrist to come in here to talk to me. Like I'm going to tell him anything. I didn't need him then, I don't need him now. I'm not crazy and I don't need his fucking help!

I try not to let out all the emotions building up inside of me. I can feel tears welling up in my eyes, all because of the frustrations. I try one last pull at the restraints and then lie back down in defeat, quietly sniffling. Why did all of this happen? Why me, damnit...why me...

A/N Hi! Sorry for the confusing chapter (well, confusing story ;P), but I wanted to do this from Randy's pov and he's not exactly in a right state of mind right now. But If you have any questions regarding this chapter, let me know, I'll try to explain.

I hope you still like this story, please let me know by reviewing my stories, thanks :)

And if you have any comments, bad or good, let me know. You can only become a better writer through that :) So, I hope you enjoy it and I'm going back to writing chapters for my other stories now!

Love, Baxxie


	13. Chapter 12 Dr Stan Parsons

Chapter 12 Dr. Stan Parsons

Randy

It's been another half an hour since the doctor came in here, telling me that everyone decided that I need to talk to a shrink. And of course they chose Stan Parsons of all people! I really don't want to talk to that guy... He's just going to rub in that he was right and that I needed help, 'cause how else did I end up here?

I can't believe they actually tied me up. And they told me it was for my own good, too! How is this for my own good? I can't move my arms or legs... They just don't have the right to do this, it's so unfair!

I'm still tugging on the restraints, but it's no use and I know that. But I have to try, don't I? I'll loose my mind if I don't...

Okay, now the door's opening. If it that's that stupid doctor again, I'll give him a piece of my mind, just watch me... And it's... Stan Parsons. Oh, god, how I would love to wipe that smug smile of his face. Arrogant prick!

'Hello Randy, do you remember me? I'm Dr. Stan Parsons, I work with your mother. I spoke to your doctor, he said he told you I'd be coming to talk to you, is that correct?' I don't respond. 'Do you mind if I sit?' I look away from him. 'Okay, I see you're not very talkative today. That's okay, you don't have to say anything. I just came here to see how you were doing and maybe when you feel comfortable you will be able to tell me why you took those pills.' I don't say anything. I just stare at my restraints and try to pull at them.

'I'm guessing they have told you the reason for those restraints? You know, they're not doing this to torture you. It's for your own safety. The drugs they found in your system put you in a Psychotic state. That means your mind lost all sense of reality. Your were hallucinating, paranoid and delusional and you had no control over your actions. The doctor told me you don't remember anything that happened after you took the methamphetamine. What is the last thing you do remember?' I still don't respond. He sighs.

'Look, Randy, I know this is difficult and I know you don't feel like sharing your problems with a stranger. And it's understandable, but if you don't talk to anyone, your problems will only become worse. I just want to help you. You don't have to tell me things you don't want to. But we can start with the little things, just so I can begin to understand you a little. I know from everything your parents have told me, that you were never like this. You used to be a straight A-student and you believed in the greater good. You stood up for everything you believed in and you were always ready to help others. I'd like to know what happened to you, what made you change so much?' Nothing.

'Alright, let's try the direct approach then. Randy, why did you take those pills? Was it an accident? You know, if I don't get any response, I'll just have to draw my own conclusions.' Damn it... 'Okay, so you took the pills by accident.'

'It wasn't an accident.' He looks at me in surprise. I think It's more because I actually spoke then what I said.

'So you took them on purpose? Did you know about the effects it would have?'

'You mean, did I know they might kill me? Yeah, I knew. That was the intention.'

'You know, somehow I find that hard to believe. I don't think you meant to kill yourself. I think this goes much further, something is going on that you're not telling me.'

'Hey, you asked me why I took the pills and I gave you an answer. Whether you believe me or not is up to you.'

'Okay. So, then why did you try to kill yourself?'

'Because I'm tired of my life. What other reason would there be?'

'I don't know, you tell me. There are plenty of people who try to commit suicide because something happened and they feel guilty.' I look away. 'Is that the reason? You feel guilty? Does this have anything to do with Lauren Henderson? Your parents told me you started to change after she disappeared. And today, when you were in the Psychotic state, you thought she was after you. You were convinced that she was here and that she was trying to kill you. Do you have any idea why your mind would think that? Do you think that maybe in a way you feel responsible for her disappearance? Or maybe you really know something that you're not telling anyone. Do you know where she is, Randy? Do you know what happened to Lauren Henderson the day she disappeared?'

'No! I don't, alright? Stop talking about her! I don't know what happened to her. It happened two years ago, I don't know why my mind reacted to her, I don't even remember thinking about her. I just really cared about her and I left her by herself on that corner... She disappeared after that. I was the last person to see her. So maybe I do feel responsible or something, I don't know!'

'You don't know, yet you know it was good enough reason to change your complete personality and try to kill yourself.'

'I never said that! You just decided that.. I never said I changed because of her death or that it made me want to commit suicide, I didn't say it!'

'Wait, because of her Death? Who said anything about her being dead?'

'What?' Oh, shit! Did I say that?

'You said, because of her death. No one ever found her body, right? So, how do you know she's dead?'

'I, I, I don't. I-I just assumed, because it's been two years. I don't think there's a big chance of them finding her alive after all this time, they never do.'

'Hm, ok, I guess you're right about that.' Phew, that was close... I don't think he believes me, but he's not asking me anything else, so that's good. 'So that wasn't the reason you wanted to kill yourself? I mean, that is what you said.'

'No, I'm just tired of life in general. You know, I don't see what the big deal is, I mean, I'd be doing everyone a favor. My family would be glad to ge rid of me after everything I've put them through.' Well, at least that wasn't a lie..

'Ok, so you feel guilty because of your family? You mean when you beat up your brothers? And how you've started disrespecting your parents? You think they don't care about you anymore?'

'I don't see why they should. I mean, I can't blame them if they don't.'

'Hm, so I guess that's why they're all in the waiting room, biting their nails anxiously, hoping to hear good news about you. Your mom is crying her eyes out because she doesn't care? Your brothers and your dad are pacing the floors nervously and worried sick about you, because they don't care?'

'They're all out there?'

'Yes, they are. They have been ever since they brought you in. Your family does care about you, but they're worried. They want to know why you've changed so much, they want the old Randy back.' That almost makes me choke up, but I keep it hidden. He doesn't need to see the real me, he already found out too much. 'I know it will be a hard process, but I would like to help you get back to yourself.'

'Wait, you mean, go back to my old life? Why would I want that?'

'You just said, you thought your family didn't care anymore because of everything you did. You wanted to kill yourself because of it.'

'Yeah, but that doesn't mean I want to go back to the way things used to be. I mean, that's not possible anyway. Everything has changed way too much, I can't go back.'

'So, you don't want things to improve? You don't want a better life?'

'Of course I want a better life, who doesn't? But I can't change the way things are right now. I guess I just didn't realize that my life really isn't that bad. I have a family that still cares, even after all the shit I put them through and I have friends who are always there for me.' I say the last bit with some anger and uncertainty. After all, those so-called "friends" are the reason I'm here right now...

'I see. Well, it seems you're happy with your life right now then?'

'Yes, I am. I guess that means you've done your job haven't you? I mean, you helped me to realize that I'm really ok. Life is good right now and I don't want it to change.'

'Oh, um, ok. I guess we are done then, or do you have anything you would like to talk about? Because I'm not convinced that you're doing so "good" as you're telling me. I think there's a lot more going on here and I intend to find out what it is. I'd like to suggest we agree on sessions three times a week. We'll continue for about three weeks and then we'll see where we go from there. We'll start meeting up as soon as you're released from the hospital. You will have to recuperate at home for the time being anyway, so I'll just come over to your house. I will discuss it with your parents and see if we can agree on first dates.' He starts to get up and I'm starting to get confused.

'Wait, what are you talking about? I thought we were done? You were just here to evaluate me.'

'Yes, I was. And I find out that you did try to commit suicide. After we established that, I had to evaluate your state of mental health further, to see whether it would be necessary for you to be committed to the hospital, in the mental ward, or just agree on one on one sessions with me. And I do think you quite stable, mentally, so I think the one on one sessions will be enough.' What the hell just happened? 'Now, I would like you to do something for me in the mean time. I would like you to have this notebook and pen and I'd like you to write down your problems. You, know, write a journal. When we meet up again for our first session, we can discuss some of the problems you want to talk about. You don't have to show me the journal. You can write down whatever you feel, just to get if off your chest and you can keep it to yourself, ok?' He gives me the notebook and I stare at it, still, confused. 'Okay, now I have to go see another patient. I'll talk to your parents and have them inform you of the date and time, alright? Feel better and we'll talk soon, okay?'

'But, I...'

'Ok. Goodbye Randy. I will talk to someone about those restraints also. You don't seem a danger to anyone right now. Well, better go. Bye.'

With that he just walks out the door, leaving me to wonder how he did that.. I thought I got rid of him, but he turned the tables on me. Unbelievable. Now I'm stuck with him...

But I guess it couldn't hurt that much to write everything down. I mean, I don't have to show anyone, it's for myself. Maybe it will help me feel better. Better get started then, I guess.. Ugh, maybe later, my head is starting to hurt and I'm tired again. Yeah, I'll just sleep for now. I can always start writing later. Goodnight...

_Enter Prologue..._

--

**A/N **Hi everyone! I hope there are still people reading this story. If you are, please let me know what you think of this chapter. It won't be long now for the plot to reveal itself, then he confusion will finally be lifted and all will be clear. But for now, sorry about the confusion again :)

Well, I'll try to update again soon, happy readying and please as always, R&R! Thanks!

Love, Baxxie


	14. Chapter 13 Friends?

Chapter 13 Friends?

_A week later..._

Journal

_Dear whatever..._

Oh, why do I bother to do that? No one is going to read this, so let's just forget it.

I've been home for about five days now and I'm getting really annoyed. I can't be alone. Everyone is watching me like hawks. They won't leave me out of their sight. I haven't been out at all and that's not a good thing. If I stay inside any longer, I'm going to loose my mind. Not that I haven't already, but this makes things worse...

Stan has been here twice already this week and we're really making progress. Yeah, right. I haven't told him anything new. I let him know how tired I am of being constantly watched by everyone and how I really need to go out, talk to my friends. He did talk to mom and dad about it, but they said no. They're afraid I'll get into more trouble. Even though they've never met my friends, according to them they have a bad influence on me. Maybe that's true, but what do they know. They've never seen me with my friends. They just know what I tell them and I'm not really a reliable source...

Anyway, I really do need to get out. I need to go see my friends. If I don't, they'll think something's up and I can't have that. Besides, I need to talk to Tony about those 'sleeping pills' he gave me. I'd like an explanation and maybe some revenge...

But I'll have to think of a way to get out of the house first. Normally I'd wake up before anyone else, but lately it seems like someone has always gotten up before me. Like they set the clock to it or something. If that's true, then they're really pissing me off. Well, just wait, I'll outsmart them, don't worry. I always do. They shouldn't think they can stop me, 'cause they can't. The only reason that I haven't just walked past them, is because last time I tried it, dad ordered Brad to grab me. They threatened to tie me up, or call Stan to come and talk to me. If they could, they would sedate me. But again, they can try all they want. It doesn't matter, I'll get out. One way or another.

Oh, and yesterday dad wanted to talk to me. He thinks it's about time I start to do something with my life again. He and mom have been bringing home college flyer's, but until I make a decision (like I will..) I should get a job. They can't decide all of this for me. They can't just run my life for me! It's my life and I'll live it the way I want to. And right now I'm nowhere near going to college or starting a job. Luckily Stan thinks it's too soon also. He wants me to be completely mentally stable and right now, according to him, I'm nowhere near that. I guess I really am good at this game...

Oh, mom's yelling right now. Dinner's ready. Yeah, whatever, I'll just go along with it. Maybe if I behave I can convince them I'm better and they'll let me out. God, I feel like an animal, trapped in a cage. I've always been against cruelty of animals, well, now I kind of know how they feel and I feel even worse for them. When I get out of all this mess and get my life back in order, I'll go back to helping them, in honour of Lauren...

Well, gotta go!

_Randy_

Randy (next day)

Ha! I knew I'd outsmart them. They will be so mad when they find out I'm not there. Mark is going to be in a lot of trouble... I am on my way to see Tony right now. They're probably wondering where I've been. Or maybe Tony will be more surprised why I'm still alive...

I can't believe how easy it turned out to be to get out of the house. I just had a little "chat" with Mark and convinced him to help me out. He distracted everyone while I sneaked out. It was great. I'll have to thank him for that when I get back.

As I turn around the corner I see Tony standing against the wall of the back of the school again. I storm over to him. The others give me a surprised look, while he just laughs. I grab him by the collar and slam him into the wall.

'What the hell was that for? Huh? Why did you give me those freakin' pills, Tony? I could have been dead right now! Or maybe that was your plan after all. Was it, you fucking asshole!' he just laughs at me. I let go of him as I know it's no use.

'Man, I wish I could have been there. You are such an idiot to just take those pills from me. Like I'm really going to give you something to help you sleep. Whatever man.'

'Fuck you, Tony. Fuck you.' He just keeps laughing. One of the other guys offers me a cigarette, which I gladly accept. I'm not much of a smoker, but it helps take the stress away.

'So where have you been, besides in the hospital? I thought you weren't going to come back anymore. But you're not that stupid, are you?'

'No, I'm not. It's my family. They're kind of paranoid because of all the shit that's happened lately. They've kept me locked inside for the last five days. Mostly because they think you have a bad influence on me.' I say that with a smirk on my face. One which Tony shares.

'Us? A bad influence? Now why would they think that?'

'I know, they're just so overprotective, it's sad really. They think I've changed, personality-wise. And the hospital assigned a shrink to me. It's so stupid, really it is. I am just so sick of them trying to control me.'

'You want to take the edge off a bit?' He reaches out his hand, which is holding a small bag of pills. I raise an eyebrow at him.

'Um, no thanks. I've had enough pills, I can manage.'

'Okay, your loss. Guys?' They all take the pills. I just stand around, smoking and we all relax, without talking, looking tough. It's weird to think of how I ended up here. I never thought I would be standing here, with guys like them. Strange world...

_Few hours later..._

Journal

I'm finally in my room again. And I'm pissed off! When I got back home, everyone was quiet at first. But I could feel the tension in the room. Mom and dad just glared at me at first.

Then the yelling started. Dad completely blew up that he couldn't trust me anymore and he doesn't want me to see my friends anymore. They want me to stay home from now on and they'll keep an even closer watch on me. I laughed at that, making him blow up even more. He got up and grabbed me by the arm and dragged me over to the couch. He actually hurt me! I've never seen him so angry before. I was really scared for a minute. I mouthed off to him anyway, which didn't do any good.

They grounded me and they told me they're putting a lock on all the doors in the house. Now that's where I blew up. They really are locking me up in my own house. they have no right to do that! But they said they called Stan and after explaining their reasons to him, he agreed it would be best. If I couldn't go anywhere by myself, I couldn't be influenced any further and I could finally get the help I needed.

Unbelievable! I'm so full of rage right now... And slightly panicked too.. Because what will happen if I don't go out and meet up with Tony and the others. They'll think I'm not coming anymore, that I backed out and if they think that... Oh god, I have to stop thinking that. That's not going to happen, I won't let it. I'll get around them, I have to. I found a way before, I'll find a way again.

I can notice my hands have started shaking, or maybe I'm just shaking. I'm not sure if it's rage or angst, but I want it to stop. I'm lying in bed right now. I know I won't be able to sleep tonight, but I have to do something to get my mind off of this. Maybe I can listen to some music. Yeah, I can do that.

Okay, I'm going to stop writing now, the shaking is getting worse the more I think or write about this, so I have to stop.

Goodnight,

_Randy_

--

**A/N **Hi everyone! Here's another update. I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope I didn't give too much away already. Probably not :P

I'm going to try and update tomorrow again, and hopefully I'll be able to finish this story by the end of the week. I will be speeding things up again in the next chapter, don't want to focus on details too much. They're not that important. Hopefully you don't mind.

But I will update soon, so please R&R and enjoy!

Love, Baxxie


	15. Chapter 14 Eerie Laughter

Chapter 14 Eerie Laughter

Journal

I've been stuck inside the house for four days now and it's driving me crazy. Dad said he'll be putting on the locks today, with Al. And I'm not getting a key. So I'm officially screwed. Great, things couldn't get better.

I am so bored out of my mind right now... Writing this journal was helping at first, but now.. I can't find the courage to write the truth. I'm still afraid someone might read it and then I'll be in a lot of trouble. And by writing this, that person might start asking questions anyway. I need to go find something else to do with my time. Something that doesn't involve my family in any way and has nothing to do with school or a job.

I should go upstairs. If I want to escape, I have to find out anything I can about those locks. I need to know what they look like, how they're installed and more importantly how many keys there are and where. That should cover it.

Later!

_Randy_

Brad (upstairs)

Mark and I are sitting in the living room, me finishing a college paper and Mark doing homework, while mom is.. doing the same and dad is waiting for Al, who will be bringing the locks.

I have to say, I don't fully agree with putting locks on the doors. I mean, I know why they're doing it, but I don't think it's going to do any good. Randy is already pissed as it is that he's being kept inside. He's not exactly happier now. I'll never forget the look on his face when dad told him. It was weird seeing dad so angry. For a minute I even thought I saw fear in Randy's eyes, but I know that's impossible.

Mark and I have stayed out of his way as much as possible lately. I know he's not just going to beat us up for no reason, but seeing the mood he's in right now, we're not gonna take that chance.

Mom and dad are right that it's for his own good, but they don't see what they're doing. Randy will get out eventually if he really wants to anyway, so there's no point. But more so they're driving him even further away by doing this. I don't exactly like the way he's acting either and I think his friends are a bad influence, but by locking him up, his mood has just gotten worse and now he's making all of our lives a living hell, when he acknowledges us that is. Mostly he stays in his room and ignores all of us. Which I don't really mind that much. But I don't think mom and dad get that they won't be able to bring him back like this. They think that if they lock him up here, they'll be able to control him and protect him. Maybe even talk some sense into him. But what would you do if you were held against your will? Would you turn back to your good side all of a sudden? No? I wouldn't either. I'd rebel even more. He hasn't shown much of his anger yet, but one day that bomb will go off and let's just say I wouldn't want to be here when it does...

Well, Al's here. And I can hear footsteps on the basement stairs. I can tell I'm not the only one as I see Mark looking up. Mom has a hopeful look on her face and dad just ignores it with an angry look on his face.

As the door opens, I notice Mark holding his breath. It's strange. I know it's him, but as I see him standing there, dressed in black, pale face and rage in his eyes, could have fooled me...He should be in Harvard now, not standing here, being locked up in our house, after almost killing himself with a drug overdose. Or at least, that's what he told everyone. But I'm not sure. Something's not right about that and I've begun to notice that more and more lately. There's just something about all of this that I don't trust.

He doesn't say anything. He just walks into the kitchen and grabs a Coke from the fridge. I wonder if he notices the eyes on his back? He probably does, 'cause in a split second he looks at each one of us with an intent glare, that makes you gulp and look away immediately. I still look at him, though. He hasn't noticed, because he's smiling smugly at his accomplishment. I'm not scared of him. Actually, I usually feel guilty whenever he looks me in the eye.

I try to look busy as he comes over to the couch Mark and me are sitting on and sits on the chair next to it. Mark and I exchange glances and I can tell he's worried. I give him a reassuring look and he goes back to his homework, even though I know he can hardly concentrate. Randy seems to be staring at dad and Al as they put the locks on the door. He keeps his gaze on them and seems to be following their every move. While still staring, he leans back and puts his feet on the table. That earns him a glare from mom.

'Randy. Feet of the table.' He just ignores her and stretches out even further. He even smiles at her, almost daring her to say more.

'Randy, please take your feet of the table.'

'Or you'll what?' The room grows silent and you can feel the tension as mom and Randy stare at each other. But we all know who will back down first...

'Randy! Do as your mother says. Now!' Uh oh, here comes angry dad again.

'Why should I?'

'Because she asked you to. Now I'm not going to ask you again, take your feet of the table.'

'Why don't you come and make me?' Dad storms over to him, but mom stops him.

'Tim, please just don't. He's just doing this to get a reaction from you.' Randy sits there smiling victoriously.

'You know dad, you should listen to her. She knows what she's talking about, I mean she is becoming a Psychiatrist. Though, I'm not sure how someone could be good at that, when she can't even handle her own son, because she's afraid of him. Isn't that right, mom?' Mom turns away from dad to face Randy.

'I am not afraid of you!' She is nearly in tears as she says it. I can't help but feel sorry for her. She looks so helpless. She has to watch her son disappear right in front of her eyes and she can't do anything about it. That must be hard... Mark and I are both watching intently as the tension builds up.

Randy gets up from his chair and menacingly walks over to mom. 'Oh, really? You wanna make a bet out of that?' He eerily tells her in a near whisper. As he walks closer to her... she steps backwards. As he notices that, he starts laughing, as mom tries to stop the tears from falling. She walks away and almost runs towards the stairs. 'See, I was right. You're afraid of me! That is just priceless.' Dad is still staring enraged at Randy.

'Brad, Mark, out now!' He says this without looking. But the anger is unmistakably heard in his voice, so we get up as fast as we can.

'Yeah, uh, we'll be a the mall if you need us.' No one responds and we walk out the door, just in time before all hell breaks loose...

**--**

A/N Hi! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. The next chapter will be the beginning of the end ;)

Please R&R if you want to read more! Thanks for doing that and thanks to Randy Taylor for helping me out with ideas for this chapter. I couldn't have written it without you!

Love, Baxxie


	16. Chapter 15 Special Bulletin!

Chapter 15 Special Bulletin!

Randy

I'm still laughing so much, I haven't even noticed the way dad is looking at me. When my laughter finally dies down, I see him standing in front of me, arms crossed and face frowning with anger.

'Are you done?' I wipe away a tear.

'Yeah, I think I am. Wow, that was just too funny. Did you see her face? Who am I kidding, of course you did. Priceless.' In one swift movement he grabs my arm so tight it hurts. 'Hey, what are you doing?' He drags me over to the couch and nearly pushes me on it. I rub my arm as he still looks at me angrily.

'Just sit down and listen to me. I have had it up to here with your crap. I don't know what happened to you, but I'm done with this, I really am. We have tried everything to help you out, to figure out what is going on with you and somehow you just keep making things worse. You know, I was ready to give you another chance when you beat the crap out of Mark. When you started hitting Brad, I actually thought I saw a little bit of the old Randy coming back. It wasn't a pleasant side, but it was you nonetheless. So I gave you a third chance. When you nearly killed yourself I really thought you finally noticed what you were doing to yourself and others. But you were ready to just get back out there and go back to your old habits. Which was why we wanted to keep you inside. Maybe that way we could talk some sense into you or at least find out what's bothering you. And somehow I wanted to show your mother that you still deserved a chance, that you could be trusted. I promised her that you still had a good part inside of you somewhere. But after what you just did to your mother? I don't believe that anymore.' I looked at him in all honesty and then pretended to wipe away a fake tear.

'Wow, that was beautiful.' After which I burst out laughing again. 'Did you come with that one all by yourself? Never heard so much bullshit in all my life! What did you think was gonna happen? You thought I would magically turn back into goody-two-shoes Randy Taylor? The middle son? Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not even thinking about it. I'm done with that period of my life. This is the new me. I guess you'll just have to get used to it.'

'Guess what buddy? I don't want to get used to it. I'm done with you. I've given you so many chances, well not anymore. Either you straighten out your life or pack your bags.'

'Excuse me? You would put your own son out on the street?'

'If you keep up this little act, then I'm willing to do whatever it takes. If that would make the bulb in your head light up.'

'Okay, whatever Tool man. Threaten me all you want. I know you haven't got the guts to go through with it.' Now I've gotten back up and his face is close to mine.

'Oh, you think that, do you?'

'Yeah, I do. You know what's funny? I never thought I could ever stand out this much in this family. I've always been the middle son. The "smart" one. Lotta good that did me. But it's just freakin' hilarious to see how much power I have now. I just have to go "boo" and Mark nearly falls over. Brad can't look me in the eye anymore out of plain guilt and mom, ha, mom. Now that's the best out of all of this. I never thought anyone could ever brake her. She was always so strong, but I cracked her. Just one look and I can send her crying!' I start laughing again. I make the mistake of turning my eyes away from him. SMACK!

My laughter stops immediately and my hand flies to my cheek. Dad stands there in shock, his hand still in the air. He lets it fall down slowly.

'You hit me...' His eyes are wide open as he looks at me. He moves towards me, but I move back.

'I, oh my god... Randy, I...'

'You hit me.. I can't believe you hit me. You friggin' hit me!' I go quiet as he bows his head in shame. I can't help but chuckle. He hears me and slowly his eyes look at me curiously. 'Wow! Amazing.. See? I told you I had a lot of power over this family. You were the only one left, but now... I can't believe you just hit me. I must have made you really mad for you to do that. What was it that pushed you over the edge? The part about weak, little Mark? Or just mom, and how she cries over losing me every night?' I start laughing again and in doing so I let myself fall back on the couch. Dad looks away from me. I can tell from his balled fists that he's holding back his anger. But instead of doing or saying anything, he just walks away and storms up the stairs. I keep laughing, even as I hear their bedroom door slam.

Finally... I get my breathing under control and sit up straight on the couch. I turn on the TV and put my feet on the table with a smile. Let them say something about it now.

'Oh, the news. Always interesting.' After about half an hour of absolutely boring news, I almost fall asleep, until a familiar picture comes on the screen. I turn up the volume and sit up straight so I can pay close attention.

_'...police have confirmed that new evidence is sufficient enough to reopen the case of the disappearance of Lauren Henderson two years ago in Costa Rica. She was last seen on a date with her boyfriend as both of them were there on a school project. Lauren Henderson, just 17 years old, walked to her apartment alone, but never arrived. She was never heard from again. The police closed her case after a year, as they were still no leads or evidence to suggest what might have happened to the blond 17-year old.  
But now the case has been reopened as a witness has come forward. This person claims to know exactly what happened that night. Police won't confirm, but suspicions are she was murdered and her body was buried somewhere in Costa Rica.  
Police have confirmed that they will interview all the previous suspects in the case, including her now 19 year old boyfriend Randy Taylor.  
We will keep you informed. And that was Katie...'_

I turn off the TV in shock. I stare at the TV and notice my body has begun to shake.

Oh my god... A witness? They have a witness?! Who? This can't be happening...

I put my head in my hands and rub my face. What am I going to do? Oh, shit! What if Tony finds out?

Wait, they're going to interview me again... They know what happened.. I can't tell them anything.. I need to do something about this. I have to get to Tony before he finds out. I have to find a way to get out of the house and fast!

I hurry down to my room and start to form a plan.

--

**A/N **Hello! Hope you enjoy this and hopefully the news report was okay. If it wasn't let me know, I'm not entirely sure about it. But otherwise, keep reading now, because things are going to happen starting next chapter!

Thanks for the R&R so far and Randy Taylor, again thanks for your help :)

Love, Baxxie


	17. Chapter 16 The Call

Chapter 16 The Call__

The next day...

In living room

Jill is cooking dinner, while Tim is busy working on his hot rod. It's Saturday evening, so no work and no school. Mark and Brad are at the mall. Randy is still in his room. No one has seen him since...

Neither Jill or Tim have forgotten about yesterday's events with Randy. Both are still wondering what went wrong with him. How did he get on the wrong side of the road? Was it their fault? Could they have prevented it? Or was it inevitable? Whatever the answer is, the only right question to ask is how they will get him back on their side. If it's even possible...

Suddenly the phone rings, bringing them both out of their thoughts. Jill moves to pick up the horn.

'Hello?'

'_Is this the Taylor residence?_' Somehow she recognises the voice.

'Yes, this is Jill Taylor speaking. Who is this?'

'_It's Detective Bill Silverstone. We met about two years ago, during the Lauren Henderson investigation?_' She looks confused. Tim comes back into the kitchen and mouths who she's talking to.

'Oh, yes, Detective Silverstone. I remember you. You asked us questions about our son, Randy. May I ask why your calling?'

'_Of course. The reason I'm calling is because we have reopened the Lauren Henderson case. We have someone here who claims to be the witness of all the events taking place on the night of her disappearance. In accordance to that, we would like to come and speak with your son. We would like to hear his side of the story._'

'Wait, didn't you already question him two years ago? He already told you his side of the story.'

'_Yes, he did. The thing is Mrs. Taylor, after talking to the eye witness, we found out that your son's story and the witness's story don't quite match. In fact, they are complete opposites. We would like to speak with your son to find out if he was really telling us the truth._'

'What do you mean the stories don't match? What happened according to the other person?'

'_I'm sorry, but I can't share that information with you, not until we've spoken to your son. Is it okay if we come by tomorrow night?_'

'Uh, yeah, sure. Oh, wait, I'll have to let Randy know first. I should ask him whether he's ok with this.' Tim stands next to Jill.

'Oh, he'll be here and he'll talk to them. Trust me. Maybe they can get through to him.' After all that happened, there's still a shimmer of hope in his voice. Jill nods and sighs.

'Detective Silverstone? Tomorrow night will be fine.'

'_Alright. Could you please let your son know we will be coming by around eight o'clock? I appreciate your cooperation, Mrs. Taylor._'

'We'd do anything to find out what happened to Lauren. Thank you Detective, for giving it another try.'

'_Alright. Goodbye Mrs. Taylor._'

'Goodbye.' She hangs up the phone. Neither one of them heard the third click on the other end of the line. Randy Taylor holds the phone and looks at it with wide eyes. He's sweating all over and tries to control his breathing. What is he going to do? He can't lie to them again, they'll never believe him. If there was really an eye witness, then they already know everything. How can he deny all of it? They'll know just by looking at him, that he's lying again. No, he has to find another way...

_4 AM..._

Randy

I wait until everyone is sleeping and then I grab the keys I stole from Brad when he and Mark went to the mall. He always hides everything in the same spot. He has a secret compartment in his desk. He was stupid enough to show it to m once and I made sure to let him think I forgot about it. I knew that might come in handy one day.

I quietly make my way up the basement stairs and slowly open the door. No one is here. I have to step carefully, as I can't see a lot in the dark.

As I reach the front door, I carefully grab my coat and start opening the door. I take one more look up the stairs and try to keep my emotions in check. I look back once more, before closing the door behind me. I sigh deeply and prepare myself for what I'm about to do. I've never been more scared, but I don't have a choice. I need to do this, for everyone...

I walk into the night and find a place to hide. When I finally do, I sit down, out of sight and wait. I have to wait until tonight, I can't do this any sooner. I need to stick to my plan. I have to wait until they find my letter, what good will it do if they don't read the letter? What if they don't find it?  
No, they'll find it. Just stick to the plan.

Now all I have to do is wait...

--

**A/N **Sorry for the short chapter. There will be more short chapters, just to keep the suspense going.

Enjoy the chapter and please R&R if you want to find out the ending ;)

Thanks! Love, Baxxie  
__


	18. Chapter 17 The Journal

Chapter 17 The Journal  
_  
8 PM..._

Tim

It's 8 PM, Detective Silverstone should be here soon. Randy hasn't come upstairs all day, but I'm not going down to his room to get him. He needs to get his act straight. I'm tired of following him around and telling him what to do. If he doesn't want to come upstairs, fine, let him stay in his room, I don't care anymore. I'm not in the mood for arguing with him again. I've already spent too much energy doing that.

Someone knocks on the door. Jill opens is and there's Detective Silverstone. He's got a young female with him.

'Mr. and Mrs. Taylor, it's nice to see you again. I'm Detective Silverstone and this is my colleague, Officer Jane Durant.' We all shake hands. 'So, we would like to talk to Randy, if that's okay. Where can we find him, is he here?' Jill and I look at each other. Finally I sigh and walk towards the basement door.

'Yeah, he's still in his room. I'll go get him.' Not that I want to. I walk down the stairs and as always forget to duck as I hit my head on the pipe above the stairs. I rub the forming painful bruise on my head and walk towards his door. I knock.

'Randy? Detective Silverstone is here, he wants to talk to you about Lauren. Randy? Are you in here? Randy? Fine, I'll just come in and drag you out.' I open the door. The room is dark and I can't see where I'm going. I wince as I walk into a chair. Finally I find the light switch and turn it on.

The room is lit up now and I can see why Randy didn't answer me or why he didn't come upstairs. The room is empty, the bed looks like it hasn't been slept in. The only thing I can see is some kind of notebook lying on his desk. It's open on the last page.

_To my family,_

I wish I knew a better way to do this, but there just isn't one. I've dug myself into such a deep hole, I can't climb out of it anymore.

I know how much I must have hurt all of you by the things I did and the things I said. I never meant to hurt anyone, but it was out of my hands. I know I can't take back the things I said or did, all I can do now is let you know how deeply I regret all of it, even though that probably won't make up for anything.

Mark, I'm sorry for hurting you. You're my little brother. I was supposed to protect you from harm, not causing it. I'm sorry.

Brad, even though I'm still angry for what you did, what I did in return was just as unforgivable, or maybe even worse. I'm sorry.

Dad, I don't even know how to apologize for driving you up the wall so much. I can't blame you for what happened yesterday, I deserved it, believe me, I understand. You tried to help me so many times. You turned out to be the last person who still believed in my goodness, despite all the things I ever said about you. I know you're a lot more intelligent than you let people think and even though you probably don't believe me, but in a way, I look up to you and I respect you. I'm sorry.

And mom, I've probably hurt you most of all. I still can hardly believe the things I said to you. I never thought I would ever be capable of doing this. I know I screwed up big time. I never meant to cause you this much pain. You always raised us in a way that we would turn to be good and have respect for everything and appreciate everything in our lives. Please don't think this is in any way your fault or dad's fault. You raised all of us the right way, I just made the wrong choices. I'm sorry.

I don't know if this letter helps in any way. I can understand if you choose never to forgive me and that you never want to see me again. You all gave me chances and I blew every single one of them. Well, don't worry, I'll make everything right. Because tonight I'm going to put an end to all of it. Don't come looking for me, I've already made up my mind.

If this really is goodbye, then I want you to know that I never stopped caring about any of you. I'm proud to have been a part of the Taylor family and somehow I hope I always will remain so.

Okay, this is it. I'll be leaving at night and tomorrow night I'll end it. Everything will finally be alright again, you'll see.

I'm sorry, I hope you can someday forgive me. If you ever see Lauren's parents, let them know how sorry I am, that I wasn't able to save her...

Goodbye,

Randy

I've hardly noticed I sat down while reading. It's a good thing I did, else I would have gone down right now. I hold my hand over my mouth in shock and try not to let my emotions out, even though that's kind of hard to do... I try to keep from shaking too much and carefully get up and walk back upstairs.

Jill and the Detective must have seen my pale face, 'because they look concerned immediately. I hold out the notebook.

'He wasn't there. All I found was this letter, directed to us.' I watch the Detective's face go grim as he reads the letter. 'Well, what do you think it means?' he takes out his cellphone.

'I'm afraid this seems like a suicide note. I'm calling for back-up. If he's going to do this tonight, we might still be on time. We might be able to stop him.' While he goes to make the call, I take Jill and together we somehow reach the couch. She hardly makes it through the letter, as she bursts into tears. She screams for him, while I try to comfort her. Brad and Mark must have heard the commotion, 'cause they're downstairs in seconds.

They look at us and I just hand them the letter. I watch both their faces pale at the realization.

'I've called for back-up. They should be here in a few minutes. Do you know any place he might go?'

'No, I don't. Our relationship hasn't been that close lately. None of us really know him anymore.' I answer in a near whisper. 'I just don't understand the things he wrote in his letter. I mean, he didn't seem that bothered by everything last night. What could have changed?'

'I don't know Mr. Taylor. But I promise you, we will do anything we can to find him and stop him.'

In minutes the living room is filled with police officers and Detective Silverstone hands out orders. He gives them a picture of Randy and they go out to find him.

'Detective Silverstone? Is there anything we can do? Can we come search with you? I mean, if you do find him, shouldn't one of us be there?'

'Mr. Taylor, I think it's best for all of you to stay here, in case he comes back. We don't know what mental state he's in. I know about the other suicide attempt. We wouldn't want to endanger anyone else. So please stay here. Some of my colleagues will stay here with you. They will keep a cellphone at hand. If we do find out anything, we will let you know, alright?' I nod slowly.

There is so much going on, no one even notices the youngest Taylor carefully slipping through the back door, in search for his brother, hoping to find him and stop him before it's too late...

--

**A/N **Okay, now the real angst begins. Will they find him in time? Can they still stop him? Everyone please keep R&R-ing if you want to find out what happens next!

Love, Baxxie


	19. Chapter 18 Pushing Away

Chapter 18 Pushing Away

Mark

I feel kind of bad for leaving the house right now, but I have to try and find Randy. From what I can tell, he's going to do this because of the guilt he has for what he put us all through. Maybe if I let him know that I forgive him, I can convince him not to do it.

I don't think the police can stop him. They don't know him. I think there's a bigger chance that he'll listen to me. I can talk him out of it, I have to. I'd never forgive myself if I'm too late...

I've been looking around for about half an hour, also dodging the police, because they would take me home in a second if they saw me. I know a lot more places to look for Randy, most of them are places mom and dad don't know about. It's something between Brad, Randy and me. It's the one thing we shared among the three of us. It was always Brad and Randy, I never fit in with them, but as we got older, they included me a lot more. Well, Randy did. We go pretty close before he left for Costa Rica.

_an hour later..._

Damn it, he's not in any of the places I thought he might be... I have to keep looking. He has to be here somewhere. Oh, wait! How could I forget? There is one place Brad doesn't even know about. Hell, I don't think Randy knows I know about.

I start to run now, I have to hurry. Please don't let me be too late...

I approach the spot with caution... Relief washes over me as I see him sitting on the ground, watching something intently.

'Randy, thank god...' He nearly jumps a mile.

'Mark! What the hell are you doing here? You shouldn't be here.' He whispers and pulls me down with him. As I look through the bushes with him, I can see our house in a distance. He looks at it and seems to be nervous about something.

'Randy, I'm so glad I found you. We found your letter and I had to come talk to you. I know you feel guilty about everything that happened, but whatever the reason was, I'm sure there are other ways to deal with it. Please don't do this, you don't have to.'

'Mark, just stop, alright. I don't need this right now. You have to leave. This is too dangerous.' Dangerous?

'I am not leaving. I came here to convince you not to go through with this.'

'You read my letter, right? If you did, then you'll know I asked all of you not to come and try to stop me, because I made up my mind already. I have to do this, Mark. I don't have any other options. This is the only way out.'

'No, it's not. There is always another way. I'll help you, please don't do this, I'm begging you!'

'I have to! You have to go, please just go!' I can tell his emotions are running high, but he's trying to keep them in. I can also see he's shaking all over. So he's just as scared as I am.

'I am not leaving without you. Please come home with me.' he looks away from me. 'Randy, please. I forgive you, alright? Is that what you want to hear, I forgive you.'

'Stop it!' I'm surprised to see tears rolling down his face. 'You have to go. I need to do this. I know you don't understand, but I don't have another choice. This is the only way to solve all of this and I have to go through with it. I meant what I said Mark, I am sorry for everything. You'll always be my little brother and I'm sorry I wasn't always there for you.'

'But you can make it right. If you come home with me, we can make it all better! Please?' I can hear sirens in the distance. I can tell Randy does, too, 'cause he becomes even more agitated.

'Mark, listen to me. You need to get out of here, now. It's too late for you to save me. But you can do me one last favour: please go and don't tell anyone you saw me, alright? Can you do that for me? You know I care about you, don't you?'

'Randy please...' Tears are rolling down my own cheeks now.

'I'm sorry.. Just promise me you will. Promise me!'

'I-I promise...' I can barely choke out.

'Thank you... For everything. Take care of everyone for me, alright? I'm sorry...' He hugs me. I want to hug him back, but in one motion he throws me into the bushes and runs. Leaving me to burst out crying and scrambling to my feet quickly and hide from the police.

Damn it... I try to look for him when the police is gone, but he's gone. I kneel to the ground and just cry. I don't notice anything around me anymore, including the figures behind me. I don't notice until I can feel two pairs of hands grabbing me. I want to cry out as I see someone in front of me with a big sneer on his face. He waves at me and before I know it, I can feel pain on the back of my head and then blackness clouds my vision..

Two blocks from the secret hiding spot...

Detective Silverstone is standing on the street, questioning residents, to see if they've seen Randy Taylor.

As he comes out of the next house, his cell phone rings.

'Silverstone.'

'_Bill, we have a problem._'

'What?'

'_He was here. But he found us before we found him._'

'What do you mean, he found us before we found him?'

'_He took out one of our officers._'

'Excuse me? He took him out? Took him out how?'

'_He used a branch. He hit him over the head with a branch._' Silverstone rubs his face with his hand and sighs.

'How is the guy doing?'

'_Officer Stevens? He's ok, he's conscious now, but he has a pretty bad concussion._'

'And the kid?'

'_He was gone before we got there. But that's not our biggest problem._'

'What do you mean?'

'_Stevens's gun is missing._...'

--

**A/N **I am so sorry to leave you hanging like this, but I just had to do it! R&R if you want to read the rest!

Thanks everyone! Love, Baxxie  
  



	20. Chapter 19 Sudden Appearances

Chapter 19 Sudden Appearances

Taylor residence

'Okay, I'll tell them, thanks. Bye.' Officer Durant closed her phone with a grim look. Tim and Jill looked at her expectantly.

'Is everything alright? Have you found either of them?' By now they had found out that their youngest son has gone missing as well.

'I'm afraid not. The situation has become more critical, actually.' They look at each other with fright.

'Critical? What does that mean?' Officer Durant sits down in front of the Taylors and tries to tell them as delicately as possible.

'Your son Randy knocked out one of our officers with a tree branch. Officer Stevens is alright, but his gun is missing. We think your son might have taken it.' Jill buries her head in her husband's shoulder, while they both let the devastating news sink in. 'All officers have been informed and they will pick up the pace. We're doing everything we can to find him. I'm sorry I don't have any better news.' She gets up and leaves the family to grieve together.

Brad sits in the chair in shock. He's wondering whether he did the right thing by staying here. Shouldn't he go looking for his brother, just like Mark did? No, that wouldn't help. It's bad enough one of them is missing, Mark is only endangering himself more this way. Damn it! He can't just sit there and do nothing..

_Meanwhile, behind the school..._

Mark

As I slowly wake up, I try to clear the blurriness from my sight and focus on the moving shadows in front of me. My head hurts like hell and I find I can't move. Something is keeping me in place. I become aware of voices around me, and finally notice I'm against a wall. I'm being held by two guys, who only increase their grips as they notice I'm awake.

'Well, well, well. Look who's finally awake. We've been waiting for you. It's just no fun to torture you without you being able to try and fight back. Hello Mark, my name is Tony. I'm a good friend of your brother Randy.' I look at him and feel scared as I recognise the face of the guys who has been terrorizing high school kids for years now.

'I-I know who you are. What do you want from me?' I struggle to get free, but the iron grips on my arms become painfully worse as I do so.

'I just wanted to ask you where I can find Randy.'

'He's your friend, you should know where he is.' That was stupid. He grabs my collar and slams me into the wall, making my head hurt even more.

'Don't play games with me, kid. Just tell me where he is! We need to discuss a few things with him.'

'I don't know where he is...' He just grabs me tighter.

'Don't lie to me! You know what, fine. If you don't want to tell me, I guess we'll just have to make you. Guys?' He lets go and steps backwards. I wonder what's going on, but soon find out as a fist lands in my stomach. I double over from the pain, but the iron grips on my arms are still there, puling me back up.

They keep punching and kicking me, until I can hear a familiar voice and relief washes over me as I see him, still alive. I'm slightly confused as to why he's here though.

'Let go of him, Tony, I'm right here.' Tony turns towards him with a sly smile. I smile as I see him and want to cry out to him, but the icy stare in his eyes makes me afraid somehow.

'Well, if it isn't Randy Taylor. Haven't seen you in a while. I almost thought you were avoiding me, but here you are.'

'Yeah, I am, so you don't need him anymore.' Tony turns towards me again and smiles evilly.

'Yeah, about that. I thought we could have some more fun with him, now that you're here. Remember how we asked you to hurt your other brother and you refused? Well, now is your chance to do it over. He can't even fight back, it's perfect.' The horror probably shows in my eyes as I see Randy come closer. 'Come on, what are you waiting for? Don't you want to hurt him?'

'Fine, I will.'

'Better prepare yourself Mark, you know what he's capable of.' My eyes widen even more and I try to step backwards as I suddenly notice the shining metal in my brother's hand. I struggle and try to break free with all my strength as I see him raise the gun in the air.

'Oh god...' Tony just laughs at the terror on my face. 'Randy, please... you don't have to do this, please don't do it...' I expect him to point the gun at his own head, but panic fills me as I see he's aiming it at me. 'What are you doing?' I nearly whisper with tears running down my face. 'It's me, Mark, remember? You said you were sorry, you said you cared...' I don't get a response. I can see him getting closer. Tony is still standing in front of me. I know this is it, I can't hide anymore... My own brother... I close my eyes and prepare for the pain. I can hear the click of the safety lock and wait for the shot.

But all I can hear is silence... Even Tony's laughter has stopped.

I open my eyes and my mouth is wide open as I see the gun in my brother's hand resting on the back of Tony's head...

**A/N **Bet you didn't see that one coming, huh? That was the point. R&R if you want to find out what happens next!

Thanks for everything so far! Love, Baxxie


	21. Chapter 20 Standoff

Chapter 20 Stand-off

Randy

As I stand there, hands shaking, although not visible, I keep the gun steady at his head and my eyes glued to him.

'I said; you don't need him anymore. Let him go.' Tony still has his back turned towards me.

'Do what he says.' The other guys stare at him in disbelief. 'Just do it.' They let Mark go and I can tell he's doing everything he can to stay steady on his feet. But I can't pay attention to him, I'll just get distracted.

'Mark, go home.' He just stands there. 'What are you waiting for, go home. You shouldn't be here.'

'But I...'

'Now!' He starts running, but I just know he turns back one more time in hesitation. 'Mark, leave now. This between me and Tony. I don't wan you to get hurt. Tell the others I'm sorry, ok? Now go!' I hear him running off as I keep my eyes on Tony, who slowly starts to turn around. I notice the others tensing up.

'It's okay, he's right. This is between us.' They back down. Tony is now looking straight at me while the gun is now aimed at his forehead.

'Well, you definitely got my attention.' He laughs. 'So, what do I owe this to?' I stare at him coldly.

'Everything.'

'Everything? Wow. Did you guys hear that? I owe this to everything.' They seem to scared to react, but snicker quietly anyway.

'Shut up. You're not in a position to joke around right now.'

'Ooh, yeah, I am very afraid right now. Just admit it, Taylor, you're not going to pull that trigger, you don't have the guts for it.'

'Really? Is that what you think? Would you like to make a bet on that?' I start walking closer. Even though he seems confident, he starts walking backwards, putting a smile on my face. 'What's the matter? Are you scared?' He walks backwards until he hits a wall.

'Get over yourself Taylor, just because you killed your girlfriend, doesn't mean...' It takes all of my strength not to shoot him right now. Instead I push the barrel under his chin.

'Don't say that! Don't you fucking dare say I killed her!' I can tell he's starting to sweat now. Despite the fear in his eyes, he apparently notices my fear and starts to smile.

'Why not? It's true, isn't it? You killed her. You strangled your own girlfriend with your bare hands, right after you raped her...' He whispers it to me.

'Shut up! Just shut up! I never killed anyone, it was you... You killed Lauren and now I'm going to kill you.'

--

**A/N **Sorry about the short chapter, but too much is going to happen and I couldn't put that all in this chapter, so hopefully you will all R&R and I will update soon!

Thanks! love, Baxxie


	22. Chapter 21 The Final Showdown

Chapter 21 The Final Showdown

Randy

'What are you talking about? I didn't kill anyone. That was you, remember? I was there.' Tony tells me in faked innocence.

'Yeah, I know you were. So was I.'

'Well then why don't you tell me what happened? Because I'm a little confused here.'

'Ok, I will.' I let my mind wander back to that fateful night in Costa Rica. Lauren and I had just celebrated our two-year anniversary by eating dinner in a restaurant. We held hands and walked outside, towards our homes, when...

_**'Tonight was just amazing, Randy, thanks you so much.' We kiss and keep on walking.**_

'Well, we don't have to let it end, if you know what I mean...' She smacks me on the arm as I smirk, faking innocence. 'What? I meant we could play board games.' She smiles.

'Yeah, of course you did.'

'What? I did. We could play Scrabble.' She shakes her head with a smile.

'You are impossible.'

'Yeah, but that's why you love me.' We kiss again and don't notice the figures surrounding us, until they grab our arms and pull us apart. 'Hey! What are you doing, get off of me!' I fight them as hard as I can, but receive a blow to the stomach, knocking the wind out of me.

'Randy! Get off of me, you creeps.' Lauren fights, too. I can hear one of the guys yell out as she bites him.

'Au! You'll pay for that, you bitch!' He slaps her hard in the face, making me even angrier. I use all my strength and knee one of them in his gut, while I elbow the other one. I try to get to her, but don't get far as someone tackles me to the ground hard.

'Leave her alone!' I try to fight, but three guys have a hold on me as I see two other guys still holding on to Lauren, while the supposed leader walks up to her and gets right in her face. They need a fourth guy to keep me from getting free as their leader tries to kiss my girlfriend. She spits him in the face. He smiles and wipes the spit off.

'Feisty girlfriend you got there, Taylor.'

'Fuck you, Tony.'

'No, I'd rather fuck her.' He starts to laugh as I struggle even more. 'Come on, get him up.' The hoist me to my feet and he walks closer to me.

'Don't touch her or I swear you'll regret it.'

'Oh, really? What are you going to do, huh? You think you can stop me? Seems to me, right now you're not really in a position to make that threat, seeing how you can't even move.' He grabs my face and squeezes it as he says the last part. I struggle again. 'Hm, you really about her, huh? Do you love her?' He punches me in the face when I don't respond. 'Answer the damn question! Do you love her?'

'Yes, I do...' I barely whisper.

'I'm sorry, I don't think I heard that.' He leans closer to me as the other guys snicker.

'I said I love her.'

'Aw, isn't that sweet. Did you hear that, honey? He loves you. Do you love him, too?' She's crying out of fear as he closes in on her again and starts to caress her. She squirms away from him.

'Please don't hurt us, we didn't mean to get you in trouble... Please just let us go...'

'You didn't mean to get me into trouble? You didn't mean to?' He slaps her hard and she cries out with tears running down her face. 'Then why did you, huh? You called the cops on me. Not to mention you convinced my girlfriend I was trying to rape her! And your boyfriend here landed one of my guys in the hospital.'

'You were raping her! We only came to help, because she was yelling for you to stop hurting her!' He grabs Lauren by the hair and gets into her face.

'Why you little bitch. I never raped anyone, my girlfriend tends to overreact. And she used that quality gratefully when the police asked for her statement. I got arrested because of you and now it's payback time.'

'You would have ended up there eventually after all the stuff you already pulled before this. The police knew your name! And the other guy? he got exactly what he deserved.' That stupid remark won me a few more punches to the stomach and face.

'Stop it! Stop hurting him! What do you want from us? We'll do anything... please just let us go...' Tony is looking at me and when Lauren says those words, an evil smile appears on his face.

'Anything, huh?' My eyes widen as I get the meaning of the expression on his face. I struggle with all the strength I have as his smile broadens and he starts to walk backwards to Lauren.

'Don't you dare...' I tell him with a murderous tone. He winks at me and walks towards Lauren. She widens her eyes and struggles to get free.

'Oh, I can think of something.' He takes hold of her and starts to forcefully kiss her. She tries everything to get away from him, while the other guys restrain me as I kick around. 'Ouch, you bit my tongue. I thought you said you'd do anything? Don't you want your boyfriend to survive?' I can tell what he's doing as the tears run down her face and my own eyes start to tear up at the fear in her eyes.

'Lauren, don't listen to him! Get away from her, Tony, I mean it!'

'You know, you would make a great part of our gang, Taylor. Have you ever thought about joining us?'

'What? You think I want to join you? There is no way I will ever join you, I'd rather die.'

'That's a real shame. You would have been great, you would actually make something of yourself. But now, well, let's just say you made the wrong choice.'

'What does that mean? You didn't give me a choice...' I start to get more afraid than ever. What did I do?

'You could have said yes, so you had a choice. But you said no, so now you must suffer the consequences.'

'What consequences? You didn't say there would be any consequences.' He ignores me and starts walking back to Lauren.

'Hold her down.' He starts to take off his jacket, while the guys holding Lauren, increase their grips on her. Oh god...

'No, wait! I change my mind, I'll join you, I will... Please, don't hurt her... I'll join you, please!'

'Really?' I nod quickly. 'Too late. You already said no, I'll have to punish you.'

'No, please...' I choke out as he starts to touch her. She squirms to get away from her, but the guys are too strong.

'Don't worry, you can still join. Let's make a deal: You join our gang and I won't kill her.'

'Randy, no!' He slaps her again.

'Stay out of this, sweetie, this doesn't concern you. Well, what's it going to be?' He starts to move a hand up to her throat.

'Stop! I-I will. I'll join you, just don't touch her, please...' he starts to laugh.

'Aw, you really do care about her, don't you? That's so sweet, but sorry, that wasn't part of the deal.'

'What do you mean?'

'I said: If you join, I won't KILL her. I never said I wouldn't touch her. I told you there were consequences for saying no the first time. Now, neither one of you make a sound, or you'll both end up dead! Hold him tight and make sure he doesn't turn his head away, he needs to watch. With this little lesson, I'd like to teach you both what real raping is.'

I try to turn away, but the now five guys keep me in place as tears run down my cheeks and I struggle to save her. My heart feels like it's ripping in two... I did this. He is raping my girlfriend right in front of me and I can't do anything to stop it, but worse of all, I caused it...

I can tell she struggles at first, with silent tears rolling down her face. Then, she stops moving.

'What's the matter, aren't you going to fight me anymore? Oh, you finally realize I'm better than him? You're giving in to me.' She doesn't respond. He grabs her head and turns her to face him. She glares at him.

'You will never be better than him. You will always be the same loser you always were. Just a worthless piece of shit!' I feel a smile coming onto my face. Only Lauren... He just laughs and keeps at it, until he finishes with a final thrust.

'Thanks for the ride, honey. We should do it again some time.' She starts to sob, while he closes up his pants. He keeps a smile on his face.

'You fucking bastard! You are going to pay for this.. Let go of me, so I can wipe that smirk of your face.'

'Now, Randy, remember the deal? You are one of us now. You can't hurt me. Now, I'd like to let you know the final part of our deal. Me and the guys thought of a way to really initiate you into our group.'

'What the hell are you talking about? What initiation?'

'Well, we thought of a great plan. I know I promised I wouldn't kill Lauren if you agreed to become a member, but I never said anything about killing her after that.' I can feel my face paling, while even more fear is written on Lauren's face.

'No.. No, please...'

'I'm sorry, but you really have no choice. See, I know everything about you, where you live, where you go to school an most importantly, I know who your family members are. If you don't go along with the plan, I will kill each and every one of them, you hear me? Now, here's what we're going to do; guys, put the girl down.' I watch in fear as they lay her on the ground and hold her there. My eyes widen further as I see the knife he pulls out of his pocket.

'Oh, god no... Please... there has to be another way, you can't do this.. We had a deal!' He ignores me and explains the plan further.

'Now, you will be using this knife to stab her. You don't have to kill her, that's what this is for.' he pulls out a rope.

'No, I'm not going to do this, you can't make me! You can say all you want, but I am not going to hurt her, I won't do it! Please don't do anything to her, just take me instead... she doesn't deserve this, she didn't do anything!'

'No, maybe not, but I love to watch people suffer and besides, she might tell someone and I'm not risking that.'

'She won't. She won't say anything, please let her go, I'm begging you!'

'Okay. If you don't want to do it, I'll do it myself. You can just watch, you need to learn how to do this, it might come in handy someday, now that you're one of us. Make sure he doesn't make another sound.' I watch in horror as he goes over to Lauren, lying on the ground, with a hand over her mouth to keep her from screaming as he makes the first cut on her stomach. I want to cry out, but the duct tape that magically appeared on my mouth, prevents me from doing so.

He cuts her all over, before stabbing her in her left side. I would give anything to be in her spot right now... I can't watch this,.. I try to turn away, but the other guys make me watch as he stabs her in random places, blood spilling all over, making me sick. And in the midst of it all, Tony thinks it's a good idea to go over the rest of the plan with me.

'Now pay attention, alright. After I kill her, we will bury her body somewhere on this island. I'm not going to tell you where, you just need to know she will never be found. We will hide all of the evidence of course, which includes the clothes we have on. Don't worry, we brought you some clean clothes, too. When the police start to question everyone, which they will, when they find out she's missing, we will make sure we all have an alibi. We thought of one for you and we will cover for you, don't worry. Because if anyone finds out you were here, you will be their main suspect. And don't even think of telling the truth, because again: I know your family, remember that, ok?' I just can't believe this is all happening, this must be a nightmare and I'll wake up soon..

'Okay, enough cutting, that was just for the fun of it and for the comments she made. Now on to the really fun part.' She's still alive, but I know she's in a lot of pain and struggling to breathe already. I have to do something, but I can't. I have to stand here and helplessly watch as he grabs the rope and ties it around her neck tightly, cutting of her air supply. He keeps it there, while she struggles with every last bit of strength she has. Then, she stops. Her eyes still open, but no more life visible in them..

Finally they let me go and pull the duct tape off fast. If there was any pain, I never felt it. I'm too upset to feel it.

In the distance, a car is heard. Someone comes running towards us.

'Tony! It's the cops, they're on patrol!' He shouts.

'Shit! We have to hurry, come on, let's get rid of all the evidence. You know what to do.'

_**(Enter flashback Chapter 1)**_

_**'No, please...please be ok...' I plead with her as I move closer to her body lying still on the ground. She just has to be alive...**_

_**But as I'm close enough to make out her face in the darkness, my heart sinks. I slid to my knees and close her eyes as I can't stand those beautiful blue orbs star glazed over, staring into nothing. I pull her body close as tears start to spill. I try to talk to her, hoping for a miracle, but as her lips have turned blue and dark purple bruises already forming on her neck, I know I can't help her any longer.**_

_**'Oh god... I'm so sorry... I am so sorry...' as I keep apologizing, hugging her body close to me, I hardly notice someone trying to take her out of my arms. I suddenly wake up a little as I hear my name being called. I silently hope It's her, but as I look at her face, I know she didn't. I start to sob again and look up at the voice to see who it belongs to.**_

_**'Randy? Randy, come on, let go of her.' I don't want to and hug her even closer. A hand forcefully makes me look up.**_

_**'I said, let go of her Randy! We have to take care of this or do you want the police to find you like this?' I realize in all my pain that he's right. I reluctantly let them take her out of my arms, while still sobbing and quietly I tell her goodbye as I give her one last kiss.**_

_**'Goodbye Lauren, I'll never forget you...' I watch sadly as they take her body away.**_

_**(Enter flashback Chapter 2)**_

_**I watch as they take away her body. Tears are still flowing freely down my face and I do nothing to cover them up. I can hear someone talking to me in the distance.**_

'_**Randy, get up. We don't have time for this right now. You need to change into clean clothes and go back to bed before the sun comes back up, you know that. Now, get up and take of your clothes!' I hear my clean clothes being dropped beside me. He's starting to panic, but the situation hardly registers in my mind.**_

'_**Goddamn it Randy, get up and put on your fucking clothes before I make you!' I slowly get up and take off my clothes, thankfully he turned away from me. He gives me a towel. I look at him expectantly.**_

'_**You have blood all over you, wipe it off.' He says shortly. I slowly wipe off the blood as much as I can and put on the other clothes. I hand him the bloody clothes and the towel as he looks around to see if anyone's coming.**_

'_**Good! Now, go get back to the house and go to bed. Don't let anybody see you and don't talk to anyone. I'll see you in a while. Remember the plan and everything will be fine, you'll see. No one will ever find out what happened tonight. Now, go!'**_

_**In a daze I run as fast as I can back to the house. Thank god everybody's sleeping. I go upstairs and lock my room. Then, I lean my back on to the door and slide to the floor, finally breaking down again. I cry until there are no more tears left, but I never slept. And I never will...**_

'See? I never forgot about it. You killed her and I am personally going to make you pay.'

'yeah, I can tell you didn't forget. But if you want revenge for what happened, why have you become such a proud member of my gang in the last two years? I know you were reluctant in the beginning, but as time went on, you became one of us. You beat up your own brother, Randy. You nearly killed him by suffocation. Face it: you and me are exactly the same.'

'No, we're not. You see, I had no choice to do that. I had to pretend to be one of you, I had to change myself. You threatened to kill my family, I had no choice. Who would've believed that I was part of your gang if I was still acting like myself? It would have been suspicious. Now, they just thought I was grieving over Lauren. But that's also part of the revenge. You made me turn into this monster, who turned his whole family against him. I never had a choice... They were always asking me questions, I had to get them to stop paying attention.'

'Good story, really. Like I give a damn about this! Whatever reason you had, you still became one of us and you can't just undo everything you did. It's already been done, there is no turning back. Do you really think your family is just going to forgive you when you tell them this? No, wait, scratch that. Do you think they will actually believe you? After all the other lies you gave away?'

'They will believe me, Tony. You want to know why? They found a witness. Someone who saw the whole thing. He already told the police and they are checking to see if his story adds up to the facts. They reopened the case and you are going down!' For a moment I know I see a flicker of panic wash over his eyes, but it disappears just as quickly. 'Yeah, I guess you're the one who's scared now, huh? Say goodbye, Tony.' I smile, but my expression turns to confusion as I see he's looking at something behind me.

'Randy don't do it. He's not worth it.' Brad? What the hell?

'Come on Randy, you're right, he will go down. The police will arrest him and they will take care of him, you don't need to do this.' Mark... I can feel anger rising. Without realizing it, they've distracted me so much, I don't see Tony's hand come up. A minute later we're wrestling for the gun.

Brad and Mark rush over to me, but are stopped by the other gang members who pounce on them and start to fight them.

Tony and I have ended up on the ground and are still grabbing for the gun.

Unknown...

I try to keep it from happening, but everything seems to go in slow motion as I can hear the gun go off... Pain explodes into my head and my vision begins to cloud...

The last thing I hear is sirens in the distance as finally I let go and welcome the darkness...

--

**A/N **Okay, I hadn't meant for the chapter to be this long, but it required a lot of information, so sorry, but I'm doubting you'll mind right now. Also sorry for the cliffhanger again. The bad news is, I probably won't get to write the last chapter tomorrow, so you'll have to wait until Sunday to find out what happens next and who got hurt :O

Enjoy and thanks for all, please R&R! Love, Baxxie


	23. Chapter 22 Confessions

Chapter 22 Confessions

As I wake up, I'm vaguely aware of beeping and voices around me. As my eyes try to focus, I sit up, but a hand pushes me back. I'm grateful, because the room starts spinning as my head starts to pound and I feel pain explode all over my body.

I still can't make out who the voices belong to, but my blurry vision is getting better and I can almost make out what is being said to me. A soothing voice next to me, makes sure I feel better, less scared of the unknown.

Finally my vision clears and I can see mom sitting next to me. She caresses my cheek and I'm confused...

'Mom?' My voice croaks. She runs a hand through my hair and smiles softly. 'Where am I?'

'You're in the hospital, sweetie. You were shot, remember? I'm so glad you're awake. You really scared us.' I try to think back and in flashes it starts to come back... Then, I shoot up in realization. 'Mark and Brad, are they okay?' A hand pushes me back down on the other side.

'Take it easy, we're both fine. Mark got hit in the head pretty bad, he's in the hospital, too. Dad's with him. We both got pretty beat up, but we're okay. You should see the other guys.' He smirks, but his smile fades as we both remember everything that went on before and after I got shot.

'Brad, I...' He holds up a hand.

'Don't, alright? We both made mistakes. Let's just forgive and forget.' I nod quietly.

'Yeah, although forgetting won't be so easy...' I can feel tears building up and look away so no one notices. I can tell mom is trying just as hard to stay strong as she sits next to me, holding my hand. 'Mom, I'm so sorry for everything... I didn't mean anything I said, I'm sorry I hurt you...' My voice starts to crack and within minutes the tears roll down my cheeks freely and so do mom's. She grabs me and holds me.

'I know.. It's okay, shh, it's okay...' We cry together until we hear a knock and the door opens.

'Oh, sorry, I don't mean to disturb you, but I was wondering whether we could talk to Randy about what happened.' Mom let's go and I wipe off my tears, while Detective Silverstone steps in further and his colleague Officer Durant follows him. 'It's good to see you awake again, Randy. How are you feeling?' I smile at him.

'Oh, I feel great. Couldn't be better, except for this pain in my chest where I got shot, though. Otherwise I'm just peachy.' He smiles back at me.

'Yeah, definitely back to himself now.' I stick out my tongue at Brad, while Silverstone looks at him and my mom.

'I'm sorry, but could I talk to him in private, please?' They both nod and starting towards the door.

'No, wait, that's okay. They can hear anything I have to say. I don't want to hide anything anymore.' They look at each other, but Silverstone nods, so they come back. Mom sits with me again, taking hold of my hand, which I squeeze gratefully.

'Alright. As you may have found out already, we found an eye witness who claims to have seen what happened the night Lauren Henderson disappeared in Costa Rica. According to the statement you gave us then, you said you and Lauren broke up and parted ways. She walked home alone and you never saw her again, correct?' I nod.

'Now according to the eye witness, who also saw you in the restaurant, you never broke up. You walked outside together and you stayed with her. He told us you and the girl were attacked from out of nowhere and a bunch of guys grabbed her and others grabbed you and pulled you away from each other. In this attack the leader first raped Lauren and forced you to watch.' I gulp as I hear him say it and I remember it as if I'm there. 'Then she was forced onto the ground where he cut her with a knife, after which he grabbed a rope, tied it around her neck and held it in place until she stopped breathing.' I notice the tears have started to fall again, but he doesn't mention it. 'After he made sure she was dead, they released you. You hugged her, until the leader made you let go. Then in a hurry, they give you clean clothes to put on, as yours were soaked in blood. They made you run away, while they got rid of the evidence and took away the girl's body. The witness was unable to follow them from then on in, because they were too fast. Now, I can tell this must be hard for you, but can you verify this story?' Mom squeezes my hand in comfort, but I know she and Brad are both shocked.

'Yeah, it's true... He killed her right in front of me and I couldn't stop him. I couldn't do anything... It's my fault she's dead right now.. If I hadn't stopped him when he was hurting that other girl and if I had agreed to joining them when they asked me he first time, she might still be alive. Bu then again, he killed her to give me practice.. He actually told me that I was supposed to kill her. But since I refused he did it for me. That fucking bastard...' I can tell my breathing is becoming more difficult and my chest is starting to hurt. Machines are starting to beep around me and a doctor comes rushing in. He checks my machines and puts a breathing mask on my face.

'Alright officers, I'm going to have to ask you to leave now. My patient needs to rest now, you could come tomorrow.'

'No, that's not necessary. I want to finish this today, please let them stay.' He looks at me with a concerned glance.

'I'll tell you what. I'll let them stay if you promise to keep that breathing mask on. If you experience chest pains or anything that seems wrong, just press the button and a nurse will come in here and the visit is over, alright?'

'We'll keep an eye on him. We promise it won't take much longer.'

'Alright then. I have other patients to see, but I will come back in an hour to check on you.' With that my doctor walks out and the room is silent once again.

'Is he dead?' Silverstone looks surprised at the question.

'Who?'

'Tony. I wrestled him for the gun. I went over to them to kill Tony for everything he did. I know it was a stupid idea, but I just didn't know what else to do anymore... I couldn't go to the police, because I'm responsible for Lauren's death. I didn't tell anyone what happened, I lied to the police and Tony killed her because of me!' I use the breathing mask again.

'Ok, take it easy now. You are not in any way responsible for her death. Right now the other gang member are being questioned about that night. If they confirm the same story, then you are cleared. We are hoping they will tell us where they hid her body. Did they tell you that?'

'No, they didn't say anything. I was supposed to go back to the house and make sure no one saw me. When her disappearance became known, we came together and they told me what story to tell you. I had to stick to that plan, other than that we never talked about that night again.'

I told them about everything else. For example the reason why I hung out with them and I let them know the reason I changed so much. Mom and Brad were surprised, but Brad mostly got angry at Tony for what he did.

'Alright, we have your full statement now. We will question the other gang members and confront them with your statement, to see if they can confirm your story and we'll let you know what happens. If we can confirm the story and match up the evidence we have found now, based on the eye witness account, we can make a solid case against all the gang member and they will go to jail for conspiracy to murder, among other things. Thank you so much for your cooperation, Randy. Feel better, alright?' They're about to leave, when I remember something.

'Wait, what did happen to Tony? Did he get shot or did you arrest him?' They stop and look back.

'I'm sorry, but we couldn't find him. We've asked the other gang members where he is, but they won't talk. We don't know if he's alive or not. I'm sorry...' They walk out and mom goes and thanks them for everything, while I take in the news. I can tell Brad is talking to me, but I can hardly hear him as somewhere in my mind I try to process the possibility that he's somewhere out there... Maybe thinking of revenge, coming back to finish me off or maybe he remembers the deal we made and he comes back to hurt my family because I talked...

I can feel my breathing becoming difficult, despite the breathing mask. The beeping of the machines becomes louder in my ears and I can feel the world around me fading, while Brad is standing over me, shouting something I can't hear, until, nothing...

--

**A/N** Sorry to have kept you waiting so long. Hopefully you like this chapter. Don't stop reading just yet, there is one more chapter coming up, the epilogue, so watch out for that. But please R&R first!

Thanks! Love, Baxxie


	24. Chapter 23 Epilogue

Epilogue

Mark

It's strange sitting here outside, watching all the people dressed in black. I never liked funerals, they're just so depressing and sad. Mom is crying, while dad holds her hand as Jeremy continues his eulogy.

Funerals are especially bad when someone you know and who is so young, passes away.

It's been three weeks since I was released from the hospital and the press is still hounding us for comments. They even tried to come here, but dad and Brad held them back. What a nerve some people have, don't they have lives of their own?

It's so hard to see parents dealing with losing their child. I can't imagine what that must be like, burying your own child.

But somehow I'm glad it's finally over now and we can go back to living our lives or at least try to. Our family went through a lot these last few years and I really hope we can all get some peace now. Especially Randy.

Lauren's parents told him he could sit with them in the front row, but he couldn't do it. I haven't seen him cry yet. I guess he doesn't have anymore tears left now, he shed them all in the hospital already. Mom and dad were with him a lot, comforting him. He still feels guilty and can't look us in the eye, mostly Lauren's parents. Even though they already forgave him when they found out what really happened. I just hope he can go back to normal now. We'll all be there for him. He's even started talking about going back to school, which is a really good sign. I just want my brother back, for things to be like they once were. It'll take time, but we'll help him through it all. That's what family's for, right?

Yeah, the the gang members finally confessed after two weeks where they buried Lauren. The police put on a search and they did find her. On one hand I was glad they did, but on the other hand it only made all of the events over the last two years all the more real...

_After the funeral..._

Randy

I hardly heard anything anyone said. I just can't believe this is really happening. Lauren's funeral only means this wasn't a nightmare after all. It really did happen.

Everyone keeps telling me how sorry they are for my loss, they knew how much I cared about her, but I wish they wouldn't. Don't these people know what happened? They know it was my fault, don't they? I shouldn't even be here right now. I should be in jail, with the rest of the gang. That's where I belong!

I haven't told anyone how I feel yet. They seem so happy that thing's are over, I don't want to upset them again. I'll just have to try and make the best out of this and maybe talk to Stan Parsons some more, maybe things will work out.

I've hardly noticed everyone getting up out of the chairs. I stoically follow their lead. As I stand, I notice someone standing in front of me. Within seconds Lauren's mother grabs me and hugs me, while she cries. I can feel my own tears coming up and awkwardly hug her back.

'I'm so sorry about everything. I'm just glad she didn't die alone. If anyone should have been there with her, I would have wanted it to be you. She cared a lot about you and I know you loved her just as much. Don't blame yourself for any of this, alright? Lauren wouldn't want that. Don't look all innocent, I know what you're doing. You didn't do anything. You tried to save her, you did everything you could, so please don't feel guilty about anything. If you ever need to talk, just call me, alright? You always were like a son to me. Feel better, ok?' I give her a small smile as tears well up in my eyes and I nod. I want to say I'm sorry for her loss, but she's heard that too much today, she knows how I feel. She starts to walk off and Lauren's dad smiles also, the smallest smile possible and squeezes my shoulder. That's enough to let me know it's ok.

Things will work out, with a little help form everyone, I'll be ok.

After most people have already left, including Lauren's parents and mine have walked to the parking lot like I asked, I find myself alone with Lauren and a single rose lies in my hand

'Lauren, I don't know where you are right now, but I hope you're safe and happy. I'm sorry for everything. I wished we could have had more time together, but I guess that wasn't in it for us. I keep thinking if only we hadn't said anything to them that night, would things have been different? But I don't think that matters. It did happen and it's just so unfair that you're gone and I'm right here, saying goodbye. I will never forget about you, Lauren. You'll always hold a place in my heart. I love you.'With that I drop the rose onto her casket and slowly get up again. I look down once more and start turning around when I see something in the distance.

A few feet away someone stands by a tree, leaning against it. I squint my eyes and get chills as I recognise the figure.

'Tony?' I whisper. I turn around fast as I feel panic and fear rising up inside of me. This can't be happening... I finally get the guts to look again and.. he's gone. I turn around and slowly start walking towards the waiting car with my family in it. I don't have to tell them, it's better if I don't. I mean, who cares?

Maybe my mind was playing tricks on me. Or at least, I hope it did. If it didn't, then I'm never going to sleep again. And somehow in the back of my mind, I can just feel this is nowhere near over...

--

**A/N **Well, that's it everyone! I hope you all enjoyed reading my story as much as I loved writing it. Thank you for everything and please keep up the R&R on my other stories, so I can keep updating those as well.

I will update them in two weeks, because right now I'm heading off to Spain to enjoy some vacation time and after that my stories can finally come back to life.

Well, enjoy and I'm sorry it's over, but hopefully you'll like my other stories as well!

Thanks again! Love, Baxxie


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